1001 Fears of a Speedster
by Darke Eco Freak
Summary: You'd think being a superhero would erase all doubts you'd have about yourself right? Wrong, in fact that answer would be so wrong a man with elephantiasis of the hand would come slap you upside the head. If anything, it just screws you up more.
1. Doesn't life just suck?

**DEF: Somethign I've been toying with for a while on my computer and finally decided to post up.  
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_Vita: Mostly an introduction chapter, the real story gets underway later on, second chapter or so. Robin Danielle VanWestlin claims no ownership of the Young Justice cartoons and only to have created this plot.  
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><p>"Scarecrow, they sent us after that deranged maniac?" he whispered furiously ducking behind a crate when the guard's patrol swung their way.<p>

"Yes, apparently he's started lacing his fear serum with traces of the Blockbuster serum. We don't know what this new batch will do and the antidote probably won't work. This shipment is heading for Gotham, this out only chance to seize it for analyzing, if we don't, he'll blanket Gotham with the stuff then every major city in the world," Robin explained hacking into the security system.

"And you deal with him a lot?" Superboy hissed, Wally rolled his eyes, the others didn't know just what their little bird dealt with on a nightly basis.

"Ever since I was nine and don't think you're immune to this stuff, Superman's been affected by it more times than I can count," Robin replied breaking the code and motioning them forward.

He ran out first, the plan was for him to take out the guards that patrolled during the loading of the flatbed truck, Robin would come in after and hack into the system directly and Supey would play look out. Artemis, Miss M and Aqualad would provide a distraction so the rest of the guards in this place wouldn't bust down en masse once the truck rolled out half an hour before due.

Or at least that was the plan but being YJ, things hardly ever went according to plan. He sighed to himself as he grabbed the AK-47 from the first guard, there were five in total, that would take him 120000 milliseconds to complete. The guard had finally realized that his weapon was missing and was pulling out a glock, he knocked that away and slammed his fist into the man's stomach. Even as he fell Wally was already moving, he disassembled the gun in his hands, using the various pieces as ammo, taking out two others before they could fire off a shot.

The last two caught on pretty quick after that but he was faster, bullets flew with deadly accuracy towards him and he had to kick it up to sound to avoid them. When he got close enough that they had to stop for fear of shooting each other, he turned sweeping their feet from under them. They fell, **_hard_**, he kicked the weapons away, they shattered on contact, with the speed they were going no wonder. One tried to get up and he kicked him in the sternum, just above the heart, not enough force to disrupt its natural rhythm but enough to knock him unconscious.

"Nice work KF, now stand guard while I hack this, two minutes, tops," Rob added with a grin, he rolled his eyes, they were all so _slow_! He'd taken out five guys in the time it took Rob to hack a system, it better be a damn complicated system, then again Rob was only human, he couldn't fault him for that.

'Robin, there are twenty men headed your way. The new improved serum seems to be of immense value to Scarecrow, there are more guards than we anticipated,' Aqualad thought grimly.

'Understood, everyone fall back. If the serum's as valuable as all that then Scarecrow himself will come to protect it, you don't want to meet him,' Robin assured them.

He cocked an eyebrow, strange how even the best laid plans can get waylaid by some unknown factor that no one even thought possible. It just went to show that whatever powers that be were bored as Hell and had nothing better to do than screw with the lives of teenaged heroes.

"Done, KF, Superboy, in the truck now," their youngest instructed wrapping up the usb cord he kept attached to his wrist computer.

"Ai, ai mon captain," he replied saluting before doing a sweep of the room at supersonic speed, he dismantled the remaining guns, the last thing they needed was enemy gunfire to worry about.

"KF get your butt in here now!" Robin ordered and he smiled sheepishly as he climbed in next to Supey, for one second, just one, he actually thought they'd gotten away, that for once a plan had worked.

The next second the truck blew up, well not the cab but close enough, they were so stupid, there was no serum in the back but there was enough C2 to blow them to Kingdom Come. As it was they were thrown against the far wall, his head cracked sickeningly and he could taste metallic blood from where shrapnel had cut his cheek.

Superboy, _thank God_, had thrown himself over Robin like a superhuman shield which had protected the little bird from most of the force. There was still a bad cut running along his left arm from elbow to wrist but it was just a flesh wound, nothing Dick hadn't recovered from before. Superboy's clothes were somewhat charred and ripped but other than that the clone looked perfectly fine and none the worse for the explosion.

Only after he'd taken inventory of his friends did he turn his examinations inwards, his ribs hurt, one had already been broken, looked like he had a couple more. The shrapnel that had caught his cheek had gauged a cut that spanned from cheekbone to chin and had cut straight through his cheek. He spat out the blood trying not to think about the fact he could now poke his tongue through his cheek, he clamped down on the bile rising and went on with the self diagnosis.

Maybe some deep tissue bruising on his back where he hit the wall, a dislocated patella, not fun at all to fix, and a sprained ankle, all in all it could've been worse.

'Kid Flash, Robin, Superboy? What just happened? Are you all okay?' M'gann questioned anxiously, he winced at the volume, he could already feel the headache developing.

'Fine Miss M, there was no serum in the first place, just a trap. We should clear out before anything else decides it wants to fulfill a lifelong dream of becoming fireworks,' he muttered glumly.

'We're already on our way, that explosion rocked the whole building. This warehouse is already old, I would not like to test the architecture just this minute,' Aqualad told him.

He nodded fully aware that no one was there to see it, oh well it was for his benefit anyways, anyone who had a problem could go suck a lime. He shook the prone arm of Superboy, they would need to be awake for when the others got there, they would need to move, fast.

"Damn it, it was a trap wasn't it?" Superboy growled sitting up rubbing the back of his head, Wally gave him the mutual 'Bad-guys-suck-what're-you-gonna-do-about-it?' look.

"Plastique is much better than C2, C2 is just so nique, yuh know?" Robin grumbled leaning against the wall next to the speedster, he already had a length of gauze out and was wrapping his arm.

"Nique? I swear one day those lit freaks'll hunt you down and mount your sorry ass on the wall," he warned wincing slightly as the other put a good sized patch of cotton over his cheek.

"If you're talking about Dani, I'll have you know that you're 100% right. I got threatened with a Death Note and a spoon last lit class," the brunet revealed.

"I can see the tabloids now, Boy Wonder spooned to death by fourteen year old Danielle Kwon," he replied sarcastically, expertly deflecting said Boy Wonder's sight from his torso.

_'How did you like my little surprise? I thought it was rather ingenious and such a perfect way to get some new test subjects.'_

All three froze, he could see Supey tilt his head to the side trying to pinpoint just where the voice was coming from in the huge complex.

_'Don't waste your time. I'm safe in Europe but I can still observe the effects just fine from here.'_

In retrospect, they probably should've been prepared for when the room got gassed but as it was, only Rob had a mask on the few seconds later when the gas started to seep into the room. Supey held his breath while Rob fished around in his utility belt for another gas mask, he just watched in interest as the slightly yellow substance engulfed him.

It curled like smoke or fog, yes fog and smelt sort've like peppermint and embers, a weird combination but still, it was nice. He waved his hand in front of his face, smiling stupidly as the fog dissipated in the light breeze he created, he could spend a lot of time here.

"KF! Put this on now!" He frowned slightly, turning his head reluctantly towards his friends or at least where they should be, the only thing left of them were vague shadows.

"I can't see, where are you guys?" he asked but his voice sounded slurred to his ears, probably normal for the others, still it was strange.

"Don't go loopy on me now Fleetfeet," Robin warned teasingly but in reality he was beginning to feel the familiar pangs of worry. Scarecrow's fear gas worked on the Flashes but their metabolism was so high that it usually burned off after a few minutes, and for the few minutes that it did work, they were screaming on the floor. He'd never seen one of Scarecrow's victims smiling into the distance, idly humming under their breath, maybe this was Joker's laugh gas?

"Loopy, funny word huh? Looo pee, did Lu pee? Hehehe, pee," Wally snickered to himself; Rob stared at him and shook his head at Superboy. Huh, he knew that look; he frowned just at the edge of his consciousness tugging at the stupor that clouded his mind.

"Kid Flash? Robin what's wrong with him?" he tilted his head to the side, that voice was familiar, oh right M'gann and the others, they must've felt the explosion. Explosion, explosion of feeling, of anger.

"I'm not sure, we should get him back to base, the drug bust was a set up," Rob explained turning his back to the speedster. Turn away, too disgusting to be looked at, cared about.

"Kid are you okay?" Aqualad questioned glancing down at him from a height, what wasn't he good enough to look in the eye?

"I-I'm fine, just spaced out for a second there, blood loss and my cupboards are empty. Me and my food…" he trailed off relocating his knee in a sharp calculated movement.

"Oookay, Batman is waiting back at base to hear everything," Rob explained cocking an eyebrow at him, he shook his head and strode through the broken down wall into the bio-ship.

He sat at the back the whole trip as opposed to up front where Megan was, he wanted to be alone just then, he hurt but that really wasn't anything new. Neither was the hurt in his chest, he was used to being a disappointment, nothing new there, however, the hurt was in a new part of his heart this time.

For the first time, he'd realized how much of a liability he was to his team, if he'd done his job right, if he'd checked the truck like he was supposed to then Rob wouldn't have gotten hurt. How many times had he ran ahead of the team and nearly gotten them all killed?

They didn't even **_need_** him. They had Superboy and Robin, who would ever need him when those two were around? He was just a useless waste of space, no worse, he really was the idiot sidekick just like Roy had said.

The worst part of it all was the simple fact that he couldn't quit, he would disappoint Barry or maybe not, maybe Barry was just waiting for him to give up. Hell maybe Barry was regretting having him as a sidekick and nephew right this second. Did he really want to live up to that expectation?

Seeing as his only real option was to stay on, he tilted his body away from the rest of the team, turning his back to them. After all they were all so much better than him.

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He awoke in a cold sweat, his molecules shifting in and out of various speeds as he dragged ragged breaths of too cold air, it felt as though knives were piercing his lungs. He wrapped his arms around his thin frame as much for warmth as to keep himself all in one piece, he felt so fragile, a glass figurine. Just one breath could break him into a million fragments.

The darkness was pressing in on him from all sides, suffocation him. He couldn't breathe, his hands clawed at his throat but there wasn't anything there. Of course there wasn't, he was safe in bed but oh God, did it have to be so dark?

He couldn't see, he was blind, forever alone in a world of perpetual black but for his own imaginings, no! T-there had to be some light, somewhere, anywhere! But no… there was nothing, forever nothing. He was alone and he would die here in the darkness with no on there beside him. No one to look for him, no one to miss him.

He hugged himself tightly, biting his lip harshly to stifle the sobs that wracked his body.

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><p><strong>DEF: Eh, not sure how this appears to the readers seeing as they only have this to go on while I have the entire thing but we'll see how it all goes.<strong>

_Vita: Yeah, in most of her Flasher stories Walls is either crazy or beaten or both, guess which one this is. Since you reached here, you must'a read the thing so review!  
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	2. It's rainin it's pourin, Wally's cryin

**DEF: Well I've already had five reviewers and quite a few story alerts and favorites so I'm guessing you guys like the story.  
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_Vita: Sadly YJ season 1 is set to resume in March and until then, we shall write to out hearts content and there ain't nothing anybody can do about it!  
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><p>"Hey Walls, you okay?" Rob asked leaning against the granite counter top, he nodded his head from his spot on the tiled floor, back against the cupboards.<p>

"Then why are you sitting on the floor when there're a batch of cookies up here?" the younger questioned gesturing to the still warm chocolate chip cookies that lay heaped on a plate.

"Not hungry, Uncle Barry took me out to lunch before I came here," he lied feebly closing his eyes tiredly, he hadn't had a proper night's sleep in more than two weeks. Every time he relaxed enough to drift off, the nightmare would appear, alone, forever alone and the thing was, it wasn't all that unrealistic. His team, well he knew what they thought of him, waste of space, food, time, energy etc. And he'd known Rudy's opinion for years now, Barry was still on the fence but he was the only one.

"Right, you want to play CoD? I downloaded the newest version last night right off the creator's laptop," the younger boy offered tantalizingly.

"Dude, one day they'll figure it out and trace the bug back to your wrist computer. When that happens, I will deny ever having known your sorry ass," he warned getting to his feet.

"Guilty by association," Robin replied with a shrug, the red head rolled his eyes at that but still, CoD was CoD no matter how it was obtained.

"Hey KF, you sure you okay man?" he asked for the second time in two hours.

"M'fine mom," Wally muttered shooting another cgi man from afar but Dick knew better than that, they were best friends for a reason after all.

Dark blue orbs narrowed behind the shades he was forced to wear all the time, Wally had changed over the past two weeks, personality and appearance wise. There were horrible dark circles under his eyes for one, anyone who'd known Wallace West for more than five minutes knew that the boy loved sleep. His usually tan skin was a slight pasty colour, almost as though he weren't getting enough sun which was plain stupid, the guy was speedster for God's sake. If he didn't run during the day in the USA, he'd head over to Japan or something just to feel the warmth on his skin, Wally loved the sun too.

Another thing that was insanely wrong, they still had food in the base's kitchen, not just baked goods that Megan replenished as soon as Wally ate them but normal things like milk and cheese and ketchup. Whenever Wally stayed over more than five hours they'd have to restock, the red head had been there for more than three days and had barely touched anything more than a glass of water.

Pursing his lips slightly he went over everything that was off about his-**_their! _**speedster. 1. He wasn't hungry, seriously, anyone with a brain would realize something was up. 2. He wasn't fighting with Artemis anymore, not even a little, not even when she went on and on about the existence of magic. 3. He was just…there, he wasn't talking as much anymore, he didn't even watch t.v with them in the living room.

Maybe he was dealing with stuff at home, his dad was always pushing him in his school work, much harder than Bruce pushed Dick which was pretty damn hard. Sometimes Wally would come to the base with angry red cuts on his arms and legs and he was be sad, tired, shoulders slumped as though he'd been running for weeks straight and was finally allowed to rest.

"Dude, how do you kill this guy? He has a sniper gun and about a million hand grenades, I can't shoot him because he's in this armored truck," Wally complained, brows furrowed as he no doubt went through a thousand and one scenarios on getting the cgi man.

"You are so very sad, just chuck a grenade at him and shoot him when he jumps clear," he explained grinning at the 'You-Are-A-Genius' look the red head gave him before following his advice. Maybe he was just going too deeply into things as usual, maybe Wally fine or maybe he had tests or something like that, it was probably something unimportant.

"How the hell do you shoot yourself in a first person pov game?" he questioned incredulously as the cgi blood covered Wally's character. Or maybe Wally was just an idiot who didn't realize when he was worrying his friends.

"I don't know, I pulled the trigger and it rebounded or something!" said speedster snapped, or maybe Wally was just an idiot period.

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><p>"Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God, oh God!" he hissed gripping his head tighter, his entire body was vibrating in fear only this time the fear was a force of nature and not his deluded mind.<p>

He jumped as another crack of thunder resounded throughout the base, his only respite being that Megan and Conner were still in school while his had a holiday. He sucked in a breath quickly as the vibrations continued, his heart was racing painfully in his chest and he could barely breathe, maybe he was dying of fear.

Rudy was always worse when Mary wasn't home, today he'd broken Wally's ribs and shattered his wrist, usually he'd go on for longer but thank God he'd had to go to work. Mary knew about the beatings but always pretended they weren't as bad as they were, he had never needed to go to the hospital; he'd never had a broken bone or a concussion.

She'd tricked herself so well that she believed nothing what-so-ever was wrong anymore; Rudolph West was a kind and loving father who had never lain a hand on his son. Rudy had helped fuel her fake life by choosing only to beat him when she wasn't around like today, she'd gone to visit her sister in Gotham and Rudy didn't have to go to work until ten.

Another thunder clap nearly had him diving under the bed, only Rob and Roy knew he hated rainstorms but not for the reason they thought, which was his lab being hit by lightening. No, well okay that had seriously freaked him out but he had a theory about that which most definitely didn't include magic or anything relating to magic.

Anyway, the lab being hit wasn't it, in fact that hadn't been as scary as they would think, it had actually been pretty cool when he'd woken up after a week long coma and found out he had superspeed. The real reason he was so damn afraid of thunder and lightening in particular was, as usual, because of Rudy, his lovely father.

When he'd been about six or so, just after the beatings had started, a drunken Rudy had thought it would be a scream to lock him in the backyard during a thunderstorm while Mary was away on a business trip. At first it had been a bit nice, after all he'd run in the rain before and it had been fun, but after about fifteen minutes the thunder and lightening started and it all went to hell.

Crouching close to the house had provided no comfort and sitting under the tree scared the crap out of him so he'd done the only thing left to him, sit huddled in the middle of the yard while too loud thunder clapped and too bright lightening flashed.

When Mary had finally come home the next day, she'd found poor little Wally shivering in the middle of the backyard looking so forlorn and scared. Even then she'd refused to believe Rudy had locked him out in the rain during such a horrible storm, she insisted that it must have been a mistake and he'd believed her. He'd fucking believed her!

'Wally, come in, Wally?' He swallowed past the hard lump in his throat, breathing deeply and gathering whatever sanity he had left to him to answer.

'Yeah Miss M?' Oh God had she heard the tremor in his voice? She totally had, damn him and his weaknesses!

'Where are you? Are you okay? I thought I felt something from you all the way in school.' She explained and he could hear the worry in her thoughts. Good going you screw up, you worry the only one of the female species who actually gives a fuck about you.

'I'm at base and I'm fine, just a little whelmed by all this school work I got.' He lied praying to whatever deities might be out there that please don't let Miss M call him on his blatant lie.

'Oh okay, well good luck with that. There should be an extra batch of cookies in the pantry if you get hungry, see you when we get back.' She replied uncertainly.

He let out a shaky breath, he needed to be more careful about how angry he got otherwise Megs would know something was up, speaking of which, he should probably go decimate the cookie supply. A streak of lightening outside his window made him clap his hands over his ears faster than it took Barry to get from his room to the living room.

He frowned, he's been getting faster, much faster, just the other day he'd broken the sound barrier, Barry estimated that he would break light sometime before his sixteenth birthday. He wasn't so sure how he felt about that, Uncle Barry could go past the speed of light, what if Wally got faster than him?

What if one day he actually beat Barry at their races around the world instead of Barry just smoking his ass? Would Barry still want him as a protégé if he got to be better than his mentor?

Questions like that would drive him crazy some day, what if's and when's, blood filled his mouth as another thunder clap invaded his eardrums despite his hands. He wondered if it was possible to die of fright without having breathed in any of Scarecrow's fear gas.

The vivid streak of light that lit up his room was more than enough answer.

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><p><strong>DEF: Woah, I just realized I have about seven projects due next Monday and all I currently have is raw info, damn you Wally West and your smexiness distracting me from my schoolwork!<br>**

_Vita: Riiiggghhtt, anyway, our sports day is this Friday, Go Lakshmi! And your very own Robin Danielle is marching for Lakshmi House and their theme of Red Riders From The Hood. Don't forget to review and wish her luck!  
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	3. An insightful talk Then an angst fest

**DEF:**** Hmm, I finished my part of the Math, Lit and French projects and my Bio pamphlet is printing which leaves Spanish, History and English A. Not too bad.  
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_Vita: Procrastination gets everything done with God's speed or should I say Flash's speed? Anyway third chapie of 1001 fears of a speedster. Still don't own Wally, if we did, well my valentine's gift from Robs would come in handy XD  
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><p>"Kid Flash? What the- What are you doing here in Star City at three in the morning?" Red Arrow demanded lowering his bow, Wally was lucky he'd chosen to inspect the figure atop Luthor Corp before firing.<p>

"Hey RA, I thought I'd take an early morning jog through here, didn't think you'd be up too," the younger red head mumbled staring at the ground about forty stories below.

"Ooookay, now what the hell is going on cause last I checked you always refused to get up any earlier than half eight on any given morning unless it was for superhero stuff," Roy accused noting the brief flash of unease that graced his friend's features.

"Dad came home drunk again and he started cussin about mom not being home. I dunno, I couldn't take the shouting so I just slipped out my bedroom window and started running," Wally explained staring hard at his hands.

He knew Rudy was a drunk and that Wally hated it, the superhero complex and all, he could save the rest of the world but he couldn't save his own father from the effects of alcohol, with a sigh he sat down next to one of his best friends. Ever since they'd become friends as Robin, Speedy and Kid Flash back when Dick was nine, Wally eleven and himself fourteen, Rudy'd been a drunk, and according to Walls, for three years before that as well.

Of course he and Dick had offered to step in as Robin and Speedy but Wally had stopped them with the excuse being 'I don't want my hero life interfering with my normal life'. When Dick pointed out they could intervene as themselves or tell their guardians, Wally waved it off saying he was fine and they'd left it at that, albeit uneasily but had left it all the same. As the years progressed, Rudy had gotten worse mainly because of Wally's second life as KF, again they'd tried to help but Wally claimed he was fine.

Still he should've done something even if Rudy wasn't hitting Wally, or at least Wally said so and if he couldn't trust Wally he couldn't trust anyone, the emotional abuse was just as bad. Every time Rudy called him worthless or pathetic or a sorry excuse for a son or worse a, horrible disgrace of a hero, it affected their speedster. He'd never say it but he and Dick had known, they could see the hurt lurking in emerald green depths, the unshed tears and muted pain.

"You know that I'd come with you and talk to him if you wanted, right Walls?" he asked quietly, or maybe he'd just do it without Wally having to say it.

"No! I-I mean it's fine Roy, he never hurts me and I know it's the alcohol talking really and he always apologizes, says how much he loves me," the speedster trailed off biting his bottom lip anxiously.

"If he really loved you, he would get some damn help or quit cold turkey. Come on Walls, we've seen what he does to you, you can't expect me to let that slide, you're one of my best friends," he murmured pulling out an arrow from his quiver. He nearly dropped it in shock when Wally got to his feet in a sudden burst of speed, vibrating with worry and…fear? He cocked an eyebrow at the younger boy asking 'What the Hell man?'

"W-what do you mean you've seen! Who else knows, Robin? Gods Roy I'm sorry, please don't tell Uncle Barry or Uncle Ollie or Bruce! I-I promise I've got it under control!" Wally all but yelled.

"Walls, calm down, what's wrong? I just meant the name calling all of it had to stop," he explained knocking the arrow and letting it fly at the nearest skyscraper.

"O-oh, um, yeah it's fine, guess I'll just head back to Central," Wally breathed out on a long sigh, Roy nodded to the younger before sliding off along the zip line. He wasn't worried about Walls, course not, Walls was a big boy who could take care of himself. If that was true, then why did he have this sickening knot in his gut?

He shook his head adamantly, Wally was fine, he was strong enough to deal with what ever was going on in his life without his interference.

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><p>'Mommy? Mommy where are you!' In his mind's eye, he could see the scared face of a tiny seven year old, scrawny for his age, with tears streaking down his face.<p>

'Help me! Please somebody, anybody!' The little red head was throwing his small body against the heavy door in anguish, the darkness was so absolute, so suffocating. His breath was coming in short, sharp pants that stirred up the dust in the old closet, where was his mommy?

Had he been bad and as a punishment his mommy had locked him up in this dusty old closet and the very back of the house away from everyone else during the family reunion? He was scared beyond belief, what if mommy forgot about him locked up here, what if he died in here and no one ever found him again?

'Mommmeeeeeee!' he shrieked hurting his throat with the scream.

'Wally? Oh my God!' He was trembling, shaking in fear and relief as he collapsed in the man's arms.

'Wally how long have you been in there?' The blond man, his aunt Iris' boyfriend questioned anxiously, hugging him to his body tightly.

'Since this morning, mommy sent me to get the coats and the door flew in after me and locked itself,' he whispered, even then he lied. His mother had called him over to her then pushed him inside, locking him up saying it was a game.

'It's okay Wally, I promise, how about we go upstairs and have some dinner with your aunt,' Iris's boyfriend, Barry, suggested lifting him into his strong arms.

'Kay Uncle Barry,' he mumbled eyes drifting shut at the even lope of his uncle-to-be, his terror was a distant memory trapped in a closet now.

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><p>"Look out you idiot!" Artemis yelled knocking him to the ground as a bullet whizzed about an inch above his head, he got up dazed wondering what the hell her problem was, he would've dodged.<p>

Another round of bullets ripped their way through the air towards the two, he spat a curse as he gathered up the archer in his arms and slid below the bullets, cutting a hard left and ran up the wall to the rafters.

"What the, where'd they go?" He smirked to himself as the goons searched for them below, they had approximately two minutes before the gun wielding morons decided to look up, time enough to get out of there and meet up with the rest of the team.

"What the hell is wrong with you? You just froze when that man mentioned shoving us in a closet and didn't even bat an eye when I finally got us free," Artemis hissed knocking another arrow, her quiver was about half full.

"I- I really don't like closets okay," he replied not meeting her eyes, he didn't have to explain himself to her, she was better off with half truths and evasive white lies.

"Whatever you mentally disturbed weirdo," she muttered shooting the gas arrow down at the dozen or so guards, handing over a gas mask so he wouldn't be affected. He put it on without protest then frowned, why'd he done that? He was a Flash, even if he did breathe in any of the gas, it would pass out of his system before it had a chance to affect him, like Scarecrow's fear toxin.

'It appears we have been duped once again, there is no fear toxin here, nor is there any of the people of the light. Everyone regroup outside in ten minutes.' Aqualad instructed.

He nodded into the empty air, it's almost as though he really can see their leader in front of him, so close but that's kind of impossible so he shrugged it off. Artemis dropped to the ground among the unconscious guards and he follows, shaking his head at the impossibilities.

_Wally_

"You say something blondie?" he murmured as they ran down the empty halls of the complex, Wally behind while Artemis took point, mainly because he could grab her if anything went wrong, easier this way than it she were behind him.

"No," she answered quickly nearly loosing her footing when they came to the missing parts of the floor again, really what did villains have with bottomless pits of doom anyway?

He cocked an eyebrow at her answer but didn't question it, he was tired, he was hearing things, it wouldn't be the first time. The gap in the flooring spanned fifteen feet with the opposite wall being over fifty feet away, much too far for Artemis' arrows, sighing to himself, he backed up a few feet.

_Wallace_

He pursed his lips and ran forward, grabbing the blond girl as he ran and diverting to the wall when the floor ran out getting them safely across once more ignoring the singsong voice in his ear.

_You pathetic little fool. Disgraceful, worthless._

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"Hey, you look strained, don't tell me you're out of fuel," Artemis groaned but a sharp shake of the head told her it wasn't that, Kid looked pale and a little nauseous. In fact he'd been looking like that for a while now let's see, about three weeks or so, ever since their first failed attempt at the fear toxin.

"Uh, I'm just frustrated, I mean this is the second time we've had a false lead on Scarecrow, it's annoying, ya know?" he explained but there was still something off about his explanation.

_'Oh goodie, my guinea pigs are back again, shall we go for round two?'_

She gripped her bow tightly, the speakers were hidden but there was no telling what could come next, she'd heard of Scarecrow ever since she was little, she'd lived in Gotham for a reason. Batman had had a lot of trouble with him, apparently he was an expert martial artist as well as one of the countries top psychiatrists. He liked to test out his toxins on people for amusement, there was a rumor that he was some kind of vampire who fed on people's worst nightmares. Sadly, they weren't too far off.

They barely had time to reach the other wall before the entire corridor was gassed, even then they didn't stop running, if they did, then they would be caught in the fear toxin for who knew how long before the others got there.

_'Run, run, run kiddies but you can't escape the effects of my gas.'_

"The hell we can!" Wally growled, he was sick of Scarecrow and his stupid fear gas and the stupid visions it gave him, wasn't his life shitty enough by itself? He snarled defiantly as the green gas got thicker, he was fed up of this slow human pace so he grabbed Artemis and sped through the complex faster than he'd ever gone before.

"Kid Flash, Artemis? Where did you two come from?" Miss M squeaked as they came to an abrupt halt next to the bio ship, he shouldn't have done that with Artemis in his arms but at the moment he really doesn't give a shit. He stalked off into the ship while the blonde girl puked her guts out behind a broken down wall, tough luck, he thought, he had worse problems than that so just suck it up.

No one noticed the angry tears that spilled down his cheeks and that was just he way he wanted to keep it, they didn't need anymore excuses to prove how useless he was. Crossing his arms tightly he ignored the whispered laughter in his head and blocked out the taunts and cruel names delivered by an annoying singsong voice.

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><p><strong>DEF: Oh graci to Aiden for the song, been listening to it since you suggested it, it'd be much appreciated if you could recommend others.<br>**

_Vita: Also thanks to our reviewers for their kind words and insightful comments, we shall use them wisely. Now review more so we can say we actually learned shit in school.  
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	4. Come to the darkside, we've got killers

**DEF:**** Okay, so I've come to my attention that some of you don't understand the two voices the one** _'Writen in quotation is Scarecrow over an intercom' _**the words that are** _in Italics alone is the voice in Wally's head_ **and the _~ones like this are ringtones~_**.**  
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_Vita: Wish her a happy birthday, our Fucked Up Bastard is finally 15! We don't own angsty Walls or oblivious-but-not-really Robs and Roy but we do own this bucket of cookies and cream ice cream.  
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><p>His alarm clock read 3:45am and he wanted to throw it against a wall, why couldn't he sleep? He was dead tired from their earlier mission with Scarecrow and the fear gas had worn off on the way home, not that anyone had noticed as he clutched at his temples hard enough to draw blood. His fingers brushed the slight rise of the crescents at his temples, even those would be gone by morning but it wasn't the scars that bothered him.<p>

No, scars he could deal with, it was the simple fact that no one had come over to ask if the fear toxin had affected him, why had he gone so fast and most importantly, was he okay? Well duh Wally, they didn't give a damn how you felt now did they? Not even the paranoid Bat had said anything after the initial gassing three weeks ago and he sure as hell hadn't said anything this time.

He supposed Bruce's logic was that he was a Flash, even the most lethal poisons affected them for short periods of time and he'd been gassed before with about five minutes in his nightmare. Still, he didn't blame Bruce for anything, his supposed teammates were the ones he was blaming, couldn't they see something was wrong with him?

Kaldur and his obsession with team building, Megan and her telepathy, Superboy with his super hearing? They were all hypocrites; each and every one of them, at least Artemis didn't try to hide her disgust, the one thing he actually liked about her. She wasn't afraid to speak her mind, not caring who the hell she hurt so long as she got her say.

Uncle Barry wasn't one for noticing the big things, he was a crime lab tech, he was all for the minute stuff so Wally's 180 in personality wasn't something he'd pick up on right away. Either that or he was deliberately ignoring him, yeah that made more sense, after all he was always complaining that Wally was too slow, too stupid.

He scowled at the Flash poster tacked to the wall, he would always be second best to a much better man and was expected to idolize his competition. It wasn't that he faulted Barry, hell if he were in the blond speedster's place, he would feel the same way about his screw up sidekick because really that was all he was, a sidekick.

He wasn't like Roy, he would never be able to break out of the mold his mentor had crafted, he wasn't like Robin, the complete opposite of his mentor so much so that people couldn't help but notice him. He was a fraud, he was always trying to please because when you were the copy of a man loved by all, everything you did was scrutinized to the smallest detail and faulted because you hadn't handled it the way he would.

He bit his lip against the curses that threatened to spill from his mouth, he was mad but he wasn't even sure what he was mad about and underneath that anger there was something…_else_. Something so much worse than mere anger, it was like a deep dark abyss that was sucking away at his sanity, everyday more of it would crumble away leaving an ever lesser ledge on which to stand.

**_'~When you see my face hope it gives you hell, hope it gives you hell~'_**

"Hey Rob," he answered happily, not that he really was happy but he had to put on a show, for appearances sake.

"Hey KF, wasn't sure you'd even be up now, anyway me and Roy wanted to know if you wanna catch the late night viewing of that new action movie showing in Gotham," the other explained. He chewed on his lip for a while, the anger he'd been feeling just moments ago was nowhere to be found, so he supposed it was okay to be around other people.

"Sure, what time does it start?" he asked pulling on a pair of sneakers, really that was all he needed, when he'd gotten back from the mission he'd changed back into civvies.

"Five minutes, the Gotham theater, we'll meet you in the lobby," Rob replied before cutting the call. The red head stared at the device in his hand for a few seconds then launched it at the wall hard enough to crack the plaster.

"Fuck." He hissed panting as pure anger overwhelmed him.

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><p>"Wait, Wally hit the speed of light and didn't stop once to gloat? Hold up, better question, why didn't you do something? He's obviously under mind control or worse!" Roy hissed, the younger boy scowled, as if he hadn't thought about that already, he was the <em>Bat's<em> apprentice after all.

"Don't you think I thought of that? Mind control doesn't work on him because of the whole increases brain activity and if I mention anything these days he denies it and runs off," Dick muttered glaring at a grease stain on the wall behind Roy's ear. He was a horrible friend, he should've realized something was wrong way before this but he was just so caught up in his own stuff that he wouldn't have noticed if Wally dressed as a banana and sang the peanutbutter jelly song.

"Damn and I thought something was off when he visited Star the other day but I guessed it had to do with school or something. I'm such a dumbass!" The green eyed archer growled gripping his hair in frustration.

"It's both our faults, but now we need to find out what's wrong with Wally. Do you think we should tell Uncle Barry?" he suggested biting his lip. He wasn't sure the older speedster had noticed anything weird about Wally either, every time Barry came around base Wally took off claiming he had something important to do.

"Not yet, I mean we don't know what's wrong, maybe the two of them had a fight or maybe it's something that went wrong during a mission?" Roy guessed yanking slightly at paler red locks, a nervous habit he had.

"Not that I can think of the only missions we've had were botched attempts at getting Scarecrow. Both times Wally got gassed but you know the fear toxin doesn't work on him," Dick reminded the elder boy.

"I dunno maybe it has something to do with that therapy session Bruce had us take last year, I still don't know what's wrong with me. I think it had something to do with anger issues," the archer mumbled embarrassed. Yeah, it didn't take a professional shrink to figure out that Roy boy had temper issues, Wally constantly compared him to the yellow bird from the stupid Angry Birds game, the one who's always cussin the pigs.

"Big shocker there Roy boy, I only got the chance to do the inkblots test before she left to complain to Bruce about how uncooperative I was being blah blah blah," he reminisced rolling his eyes. The therapist had held up a series of inkblots and told him to call out the first thing he saw, it wasn't his fault he saw the Joker and Bats and Robin and abused children and dead men and tortured animals.

"Ha, trust boy wonderful to freak out the shrink but seriously what do you think she said about Walls?" Roy mused eyes narrowing once more.

"Who said what about me?" a familiar voice asked causing the two to jump apart hastily, they'd had a lot of experience with the Bat, Ollie and Barry but Alfred had them beat hands down.

"Diana, Bruce was talking with her the other day and she asked how we were doing in YJ," he lied smoothly. They were all accomplished liars with everyone else but the true test came when they tried to lie to each other, there was always a fifty-fifty chance that they would get caught.

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><p>"Okay, the show started two minutes ago, we should head in before all the good seats're taken," Wally advised leading the way to the theatre. He didn't have to turn his head to see the relieved sighs they exchanged, did they really think he was an idiot?<p>

He knew both of their tells, Dick's was the subconscious twitching of a vein in his neck, Roy's was pulling on his hair, he didn't have one, Rudy had beaten it out of him long ago. He grit his teeth as they took seats in the highest row, all the way in the corner, the way they did when they didn't want anyone to see them. What were they ashamed of being seen with him now?

Richard Grayson and Roy Harper, the adopted sons of two of the richest and most notorious playboys in the world were too good to be seen with lowly Wally West. They had an image to uphold, snobby, well-mannered billionaire brats, obedient to the letter because if they weren't, their rich daddies would punish them.

"Popcorn Walls?" Dick hissed shoving a bucket of popcorn in his lap, his nose scrunched up in disgust, the popcorn smelt disgusting; it made him want to vomit. He clamped down on the need to retch, it wasn't like there was anything for him to bring up anyway, he hadn't eaten in a while.

"Nah, that stuff'll kill you faster than Joker," he replied all but pelting it back across Roy to the young Bat, he didn't miss the raised eyebrows at that, he usually scarfed down the stuff faster than they could blink. He folded his arms and pulled as far as he could into the wall, he really didn't want to talk otherwise he'd start cussin the both of them.

"I swear, it's a sign of the apocalypse," Roy muttered rolling his eyes, ignorant of just how close he was to having one pissed off speedster out for his blood. Wally bit down on his tongue so hard he tasted blood, the tangy copper taste only fueled his ever growing anger, he was fed up of this, of them, of everything!

They thought they knew every damn thing about him, what he liked, what he didn't, his favorite bands, hell they probably thought they knew what brand of underwear he bought. They didn't know shit about him, they didn't know he was allergic to coffee and cinnamon, they didn't know that he was deathly afraid of small spaces or being alone or rainstorms or his father or his powers.

They didn't know that the smile he wore every fricken day was a better mask than Dick's domino, they didn't know that sometime's he'd contemplated ending it all himself. Uncle Barry worked in forensics, they handled all the evidence in cases, they had more than enough guns to take out a speedster, how hard would it b to steal one?

How hard would it be to press the cold steel flush against his temple and squeeze the trigger? How hard? It was too damn easy!

"Woah, that guy flew ten feet easy, damn good special effects," Dick commented sarcastically, sipping obnoxiously on his drink Roy snickering next to him. His hands cramped with the effort it took to not reach over and strangle the pair of them, it would be easier than pulling the trigger and he could cover his tracks so that no one ever suspected him.

"Oh, here," Roy said handing over the soda when he saw Wally stretching towards them, the speedster grabbed the cold paper cup gladly. To his overheated hands it nearly hurt but it calmed him down enough to realize what the hell he'd just been about to do.

He'd almost strangled his two best friends, what the fuck was wrong with him?

"Walls, you okay? You're really pale," Dick pointed out turning his attention away from the screen where two boys had just been strangled, too close to reality for his fragile sanity to handle.

"Upset stomach, back in a flash," he spat speeding out of the dark theater faster than sound, he didn't care who saw, all he knew was he couldn't spend one more second in that dark room otherwise he might come out a killer.

_Run, run, run as fast as you can_

_I'll always catch you because I'm part of your mind!_

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><p><strong>DEF: I hate project term, some people are complete and utter assholes, that's all I have to say on the matter.<br>**

_Vita: Nothing witty to say this time, so just review and live safe I suppose?  
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	5. Wow, even the voices say you're a loser!

**DEF:**** This chapter might incite the need to cut in some so viewer discretion is advised, it's not my fault if you people don't read this, just don't blame me for anything**.**  
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_Vita: Don't worry Nini and Nuska have her on a tight leash, we don't own Walls, Dick or Roy boy but it's not our fault our dads didn't come up with DC!  
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><p>"Okay that's it, he's been gone for almost an hour, I'm gonna find him, you coming Roy boy?" Dick asked getting to his feet, ignoring the complaints from the other patrons, yeah all fifteen of 'em, didn't they have work or something tomorrow?<p>

"Do you have to ask?" the other replied raising an eyebrow as the pair deliberately walked in front of the projector obscuring the climax of the movie.

The lobby was empty, not all that surprising seeing as it was nearly five in the morning, only Gotham still had people with no lives going to see lame movies. The guy at the concessions was slumped over sleeping on a bag of popcorn and the woman who sold tickets was making out with her boyfriend, ah good old Gotham.

They both gave the lobby a cursory glance before zeroing in on the bathrooms, chances were Wally wasn't even in the building anymore, if he had a stomach ache, he would've just ran home. Still it wouldn't hurt to try, at least they could begin to make up for ignoring him for so long.

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><p><p>

The red head rinsed out his mouth for what felt like the millionth time, hell, it probably was, for the last forty-five minutes he'd been dry heaving into a disgusting toilet bowl. Thank God his stomach had been empty, the last time he'd gotten sick like this he'd blown chunks everywhere faster than the eye could see, not a pretty picture.

He leaned back against the closed door, physically he was fine, his temperature was normal and he didn't have a hint of stomach flu or an infection, there was no reason for his body to be reacting like this. However, mental stability was a whole different ballgame.

He felt corrupted, dirty, disgusted with himself, he felt as though he'd been floating along in a sewer for a month, eating anything that drifted by, dead rats, feces, yeah it was that bad. How in God's name could he ever think of murdering someone? Much less his best friends!

Without thinking he slammed his head against the metal handle hard enough to draw a fair amount of blood, the rusty crimson seeping down into his eyes.

_Ah Wally, poor, disturbed Wally. Does the pain help? Maybe you should experiment, you like that don't you? It would be so easy too, just snatch a scalpel from the med bay, no one would know._

"Shut up," he whispered eyes wide as the whispery voice laughed in his head, the coppery taste of blood bathed his tongue as he bit it in his haste to spit the word he knew to be true. Because if they weren't that would leave only one option that he didn't even want to consider.

_Can you imagine it Wally? That sharp sharp blade gliding across your skin, not hard enough to pierce the tender flesh but just enough to feel that cruel edge, the icy blade._

There it was, the cold serrated metal sliding along his pale forearm, he swallowed the bile that rose in his throat as the knife made another pass along his arm.

_Delicious isn't it? The cool metal passing along your wrist with enough pressure to draw blood, oh so sweet._

His breath started to come in gasps as he saw the bright glint of metal as it sliced through his arm, dark crimson welling to the surface and a single bead of red falling to the ground. It was too easy to imagine the action repeating itself until his arm was covered in weeping wounds of varying depths, lengths and widths.

_Oh but you can't let anyone know now can you? They'd be so disappointed in you but then again, maybe they already expect as much. After all, you're just a loud mouth, good for nothing little boy playing dress up._

He shuddered, suddenly cold as the image in his head evolved to a scene of himself in his room, one arm a bloody mess while he cleaned up the blood before it could stain anything with tissue. The tissues were soaked through with blood as even as he watched himself; he tore them into pieces and wrapped them in more of their fellows before setting the lot on fire.

_Mmm, I can tell we'll have loads of fun Wallace, we'll see that pretty white skin stained crimson before long, trust me, I know. _

"Shut up, you don't exist, I'm just suffering from low carb intake," he muttered swiping his hand across his face, he was so tired but the dreams, oh God the dreams. They'd gotten worse, before he'd just been alone, now he could see others but they couldn't see him.

He lived behind an impenetrable wall of ice, no one could see him but he could see them, he saw how their lives were without him, how happy they were. Rudy was alcohol free, the lines were gone from Mary's face, Barry was always laughing, he even had a new Kid Flash, Aunt Iris never had that infinitely tolerant expression. The team was perfect with him gone, Roy was on it for one and he got along with Artemis, Rob was the team leader, Kaldur was back in Atlantis and Megan and Conner were happy together.

He was a pest, an annoyance they would all be better off without, they didn't need him, worthless really, maybe he really sh-

"Wally, you in here?" he froze, oh Gods, Dick and Roy, damn it, he'd forgotten all about them, damn it!

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><p><p>

"In here," The older boy let out a silent sigh of relief; he was beginning to think Wally had bailed on them, it wouldn't be the first time, especially when he was feeling sick.

"Wally, open the door, it's just us," he called knocking on the graffiti covered door, he heard shuffling, the toilet flushing but not a peep from the lock.

"Come on dude, it's just us," Dick added, they waited five minutes before they got any response.

"I don't want you guys in here, it's really nasty, I blew chunks everywhere and it smells worse than Gotham's dump," came the strangled reply. Okay that was weird, Wally never got sick, well he did but it only lasted about two hours at most, his metabolism was too damn high. The last time he'd gotten sick like this was back when they were eleven, fourteen and sixteen respectively and Rob had gotten kidnapped by Joker for what, the fourth time?

Anyway, GA, Flash and Bats were too far away to get there in time so the two red heads had stormed the place, Joker had gotten away but only because they were too worried about Robin who'd received two broken ribs and a bruised scapula. However, just because he'd gotten away didn't mean they had, the entire place had been set to blow two minutes after the purple idiot made his escape, just enough time for KF to run Rob out and come back for him.

They'd gotten out perfectly fine, an explosion had nothing on the fastest boy alive but unfortunately, Joker didn't like to play fair and had gassed the place as well. He'd held his breath while he dug around in his quiver looking for a gas mask but Wally hadn't been so lucky, the poison had infiltrated his system and not six minutes later he was keeled over on the sidewalk coughing up blood.

The poison had taken all of three hours to exorcise itself from the poor boy's system, an eternity for a speedster, an eternity filled to the brim with blood and hacking and pain. He shook his head furiously, it had been his fault then and it was his fault now, if he'd paid more attention to Wally when he'd seen him in Star last week then maybe he would know why he was so sick.

"And who was with you the last time? Who had to shout down Wondy and Bruce and Clark to sit next to you while you puked up your guts?" Dick asked angrily sapphire blues flashing with a rare anger. The archer couldn't help the smirk that grew, Dick was an only child, they all were but Dick was the possessive type, no one but no one messed with his brothers.

"Open this door right now Wallace or I'm kicking it down then you'll have to explain to Bruce why we have to replace another door in this place," Dick threatened, a pissed Dick was often worse than an angry Bat, yeah he was **_that_** protective.

It really wasn't surprising when the door swung inwards, what was, was the expressionless face that met them, a pale, sickly, expressionless face. He swallowed, thinking of the thousand and one movies the younger pair had dragged him to go see and immediately linked Wally to a zombie.

"Dude, you look like crap, why didn't you come get us or even call us, we would've come. No movie's worth your health," the shorter brunet argued but Roy could see the genuine worry in his eyes. Hell he was getting ready to dial Bruce or Barry, or even Ollie. The usual tan was a sickly white with a fine sheen of sweat, normally bright emeralds were dull with some suppressed emotion.

"The gas did affect you, delayed reaction maybe or maybe you're body finally got back to normal after breaking light-," the brunet stopped mid sentence as their speedster turned his back on them and proceeded to walk out.

"Wally, where d'you think you're going? You're sick," the older red head reminded the other boy.

"Mmm fine, just got a text from Rudy, I have to get home, sorry," came the mumbled reply before Wally shuffled out kicking it into high gear just as Dick reached for him.

"I know, surveillance tapes of the last three weeks," Dick muttered pulling out his high-tech Wayne Corp phone, it was a prototype that he was developing for the company on the sly. It made sense when you got down to it, if ever the system got hacked, he could crash it all with the push of a few simple buttons. Saved time hacking into the system, plus it would generate a profit, a win-win all round really.

"While you're at it, do a background check on Rudy," he suggested abruptly, ever since he'd become Speedy, he'd learnt to trust his gut no matter how impossible and right now it was screaming wrongness.

"Anything, police records, school records, maybe incidents of violence, heightened aggression," he listed hoping what he thought was dead wrong, that for once his gut had fucked up because God, he didn't want to consider the implications of it being right. All those years, damnit and they hadn't noticed because there couldn't possibly be anything **_too_** notice. Dear God he hoped so.

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><p><strong>DEF: All our projects cept Spanish are done but that's only cause the teacher went on early maternity leave, oh well. Oh and here's a challenge to all you peoples, suggest some instrumentals and we'll include you in this story.<br>**

_Vita: What a bribe Robi -.-. Anyway, review and save trees by reading online! Don't be a tree killer, karma's a bitch and will bite you in the ass, kill a tree and have no way of getting more oxygen.  
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	6. Not even my dreams are that fucked up!

**DEF:**** Sixth chapter and already so many reviews! I love you all, now onto the warning. This chapter contains vulgar language, any impressionable young persons make sure you delete your compute history after you read this chap so your parents don't flame me.****  
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_Vita: We actually had that happen once, go check her profile, also that really is her in the pic. Now we don't own Young Justice the new episode which we only just saw, the Flash carpet or coke, I think that's it, so no suing.  
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><p>Okay, she would admit it, she was worried about the red headed idiot, no not her predecessor, the other one, the speedster, yeah him. She was worried about him, <strong><em>her<em>**, Artemis, the girl he fought with on a daily basis about things so stupid it was a wonder anyone put up with them

In her defense it was painfully obvious something was going on, had been for most of the month since their first bout with Scarecrow but that was kinda impossible since fear toxin didn't affect the idiot. She frowned slightly not really paying attention to Megan and Zatanna anymore, if that was true then why was he acting like this?

Three weeks, four days ago, they'd gotten the first bad tip off, the next day the idiot was withdrawn from everyone else, even Robin. He hadn't eaten at all and he hadn't spoken unless he had to, the dark circles showed up at least two days after that.

Four days ago they'd gotten their second bad tip off and she'd gotten gassed, she'd ran as though her life depended on it not because she was unaffected by the gas but because her worst fear was right on her heels. If Wally hadn't grabbed her when he did, she would've collapsed screaming, it was just too much.

Robin had said the gas played out on the Flash's faster than it did on regular people, like everything else, they experienced their worst fear for a minute or more but not long enough to cripple them. She'd seen Wally's face for the space of time it took for the gas to play out but she hadn't seen fear there, she'd seen pure, unrestrained anger.

The type of anger that could level entire cities, bring the earth to its knees, God, it was terrifying, much worse than what she'd seen in the toxin's grip because it was real. She'd seen footage from a few years back when Superman had gone rogue, he'd been insane with anger but compared to Wally's it was an understatement. She saw Superboy everyday, saw him struggle with normal life and mentor-but-not-really, she remembered how he'd been back in Bialya, pure animal impulse, no mind, just anger. He couldn't hold a flame to Wally.

Wally's was an accumulated anger, something that had been building for years upon years, that he'd beaten back and locked away behind steel walls in his mind. She shuddered slightly, how could he be so happy and cheerful and joking all the time if he really felt like that? Four days ago that anger had found a crack in his seamless walls and was leaking out slowly but oh so surely.

Before he'd just sit and stare off into space, now he would mumble to himself, always lower than Conner could pick up but his hands would always be clenched tightly. Whenever he ate at base, which he almost never did now, he would look at all the labels carefully before kidnapping a few stems of celery or a tin or two of baby corn, midget corn, mutant corn whatever the hell corn it was and retreat to his room.

"Right Arty?" Megan asked, she shook her head, Wally must really be bad if she was taking up her valuable free time to worry about him.

"Sorry, thinking about something," she explained apologetically trying for a smile that promptly died on her lips at the looks she got, jeeze lipstick and nail polish wasn't all that important people!

"We were talking about Wally, he's been acting…different," Megan finally murmured, the blonde sighed quietly, at least she hadn't been the only one to notice something off about their speedster.

"I know, that's what I was thinking about. You think he had home problems or something's going on at school?" she suggested offhandedly, she'd met Rudy and Mary a while back, don't ask, weird situation didn't want a repeat.

They'd seemed like good people and even better parents, they had a wonderful marriage and accepted Wally's superheroing without question; she'd give anything to have them as her parents. The entire time she'd been at their house though, the speedster had been on edge, jumpy which wasn't something she'd associate with him. Every time his father said something, he'd flinch, every time Rudy passed by him or asked him to do something, his jade green eyes would widen slightly before turning down to the floor. It was almost as though he were afraid of Rudy but at the same time ashamed, he'd asked her very quietly on the way back to base if she'd not tell anyone she'd been to his house. He'd actually begged her not to tell Robin and she'd agreed out of shock more than anything.

It was completely unlike Wally to beg anyone for anything, especially her, he was the type of person who preferred to handle his problems on his own. Something she was sure he'd pay for later, he couldn't go on keeping his emotions bottled up, when they finally exploded, well, it wouldn't be a pretty picture.

"I-I should've said something about this earlier but I didn't think it was anything important about two weeks after the first Scarecrow mission. I was in school and Wally was at base, I'm not sure what he was thinking but I felt his fear and anger so strong I nearly fell off the top of the pyramid during cheer practice," the Martian girl revealed slightly embarrassed.

"Woah, I expected that from Conner, maybe Robin but never from Wally," Zatanna commented absently playing with a stray ribbon on Megan's pajamas.

"I know right? It's creepy, I'd give anything to know what's bugging him so much," the blonde trailed off suggestively.

"Artemis no, I promised I wouldn't, I would never violate Wally's privacy like that," the green skinned girl protested raising her hands in surrender.

"Come on Megs, it would be for his own good, you wouldn't want anything to happen to Wally that we could've stopped would you?" Zatanna asked making her eyes go all big in that innocent way that made you want to do whatever she said. It was the dreaded puppy dog eyes and teenage Martian girls were most susceptible to it.

"Oh, okay just this once and only because Wally's acting so strangely and just the surface of what he's thinking right this instant," Megan sighed focusing her thoughts on one speedster.

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><p><p>

"Fuck," he hissed wiping up the spilled coke quickly but he was still too slow, the carpet already had a stain on it, a dark brown across the scarlet red, spilling across the flash insignia.

"So fucking useless, Rudy's right, I deserve all the shit I get," he cursed throwing water over the stain and scrubbing furiously, he was breathing heavily by the time it was finally done and his fingers were bleeding slightly.

He threw himself down on the carpet abruptly, pulling his knees up under his chin, his eyes stung with repressed sleep but he wasn't going to sleep ever again. He shuddered violently, his latest nightmare had him doing things so slowly it nearly killed him but he couldn't afford to go fast. He couldn't let his nightmare come true.

He buried his head in his hands tugging harshly at his hair, nails digging into his scalp, Oh Gods his nightmare. He let out a shuddering breath, it hadn't happened in real life, but damn it what if it did? He swallowed the bile in his throat going over the dream from two nights ago when he'd thought everything was back to normal. God had been wrong.

He'd been running, just running so fast that everything around him had become a blur, it was pure bliss and then he was running with Barry… and keeping up. His uncle wasn't smoking his ass like usual and he'd laughed, he was finally good enough. He was as fast as the fastest man alive, he'd finally earned his place as a hero, no matter that he would only be able to take over as Flash. He'd finally proved he was worth something and maybe now Rudy would love him.

And then, it all fell apart.

He'd wanted to see if he could possibly go faster, beat the fastest man alive, take up the mantel and title and earn some respect for himself, not just as second best to a greater man. He would show them he was better, he deserved it, he was good enough, he wasn't worthless.

He'd pushed himself, gone even faster, so fast Barry fell behind, far behind, so far behind that he'd decided to be a good sport and wait for the older man to catch up. Only he didn't.

He was in the middle of Central City and everything was in slow motion, he'd frozen so still, waiting for people to move, for someone to jump out and say 'April Fools!', something, anything! B-but they'd remained stuck in time, he'd gone too fast, he'd collapsed then, shaking like a leaf in a category five hurricane.

How long he's sat like that, he'd never known, he'd grown up, grown old and still no one moved, he'd lived out his entire life in the time it took a normal person to think. He'd gone faster than thought and now he was no more than a memory.

The sobs wracked his body then, choking him, oh Gods, he was hyperventilating but he was lost in a dream, real life was nothing more than smoke and mirrors. He felt so lightheaded, he was going to pass out, but no, he needed food, if he passed out he could die, his body would burn out. He was alone, he'd asked for the powers that were killing him.

"Wally!"

The voice wasn't real, nothing was real because they were all frozen, he swayed drunkenly, everything hurt.

"Help Conner! Oh God Conner, somebody, we can't open the door!"

The voice was too high pitched, hysterical and who was laughing. That incessant whispery laughter, but he didn't care anymore, he was too tired, so tired. He fell forward into oblivion not caring. All he wanted was to stop fighting, to finally give up.

* * *

><p><strong>DEF: I know what you're thinking, it has to end here, he'll get help, well wrong! No there's so much more in store for poor Walls but only I know what! heheheh, I know, I'm bad.<br>**

_Vita: Of course you are Robi, of course you are. Review and tell us what you think'll happen to our victim, I mean volunteer. Oh who the hell am I kidding? Yes tell us your views on the torture of our victim.  
><em>


	7. It's called 'The Teenage Condition!

**DEF:****Well Barry finally makes an appearance in this one and yes we've seen coldhearted, it was epic and gave me an idea for later on.  
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_Vita: Uh huh so happy belated or early, however you wanna take it, womb liberation day Walls! Also some more cussin in this, can't say we didn't warn you!  
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* * *

><p>He woke up before his body hit the ground, before the whining of a metal door being ripped apart, before the voices rose in panic. He got to his feet in a burst of speed, leaping for his bed, maybe, oh Gods, maybe he could trick them, make them believe it'd all been a bad dream.<p>

He slowed his heartbeat, a monumental effort on his part as his room was flooded with light, six teens storming through the doorway, out to conquer everything in their path. His back was to them, saving him the trouble of faking his expressions, he got up groggily, as though he really had been asleep, it wasn't hard.

"Wally! Oh my God, are you alright?" he was nearly knocked off the bed by the Martian girl, her arms around his neck was slowly cutting off his oxygen supply but he fought the urge to shove her away.

"Yeah," he replied uncertainly, confused, you're playing the confused victim here Wally, don't screw it up. He took a deep breath and turned to face the rest of them, a weary smile on his face, hair tousled, slightly embarrassed.

"I thought-you were. You're really okay?" Megan settled finally pulling away from him, holding him at arms length to examine him, he shuddered too quickly for her to register, not sure if she were scanning his thoughts as well. He swallowed, think of the dream, fear, scared, nothingness, the Martian girl clamped a hand to her temple, he froze, please, please, please, please.

"Course I am beautiful, not that I mind but what are you guys doing here anyway?" he questioned infusing just the right amount of curiosity and anger in his tone to make them all take step back in embarrassment, all except for Rob.

"We, I mean I saw parts of your dream. I thought it was real, I thought you were dying and I guess I over reacted," Megan explained sheepishly floating away to stand closer to the door. He let some of the fury that was raging through his mind like wild fire seep into the set of his mouth and the glint of his eyes, let them think he was pissed.

"I thought you weren't going to do that without permission anymore," he stated glaring at her, at Conner who still had handfuls of metal clenched in his fists, at all of them, he bit back the snarl that was fighting to worm itself out of his mouth.

"I-I'm sorry Wally, I promised and I betrayed your trust," Megan murmured ashamed playing nervously with the edge of her pajamas.

"Damn it Megan!" he snarled, animalistic, primal, angry, afraid.

"It wasn't her fault! We made her do it," Zatanna admitted, his green eyed glare centered on her and the young magician winced, Artemis had been right. She swallowed past the knot of fear in her throat, it was almost as though twin lasers of emerald were piercing her to her soul and extracting all her deepest, most shameful secrets.

"Great of course, it's just Wally, he won't mind if we just poke around in his head! No he doesn't have things he doesn't want us to see, no never because he's Wally, the happy go lucky idiot!" he laughed, throwing his hands in the air.

"Well if you'd just come to us for help then maybe we wouldn't need to poke around in your twisted little mind you sick demented bastard!" Artemis shouted her fingers itching for her arrows, even if he dodged them, it would help release some of her anger.

"I-You. Just-just get out," he whispered, he'd won, he'd fooled them, the looks of horror and self loathing were enough to convince him he was one hell of an actor, so why did he feel so hollow inside?

"KF, she didn't mean that," Robin began but there wasn't anything he could say to take back what the blonde had said, Roy was going to kill her when he found out which would be in about five minutes.

"Get the fuck out! I don't care about what you have to say, just get the hell away from me!" he yelled flinging a pillow at her head, she ducked and with good reason. The pillow hit the wall behind her, ripping on impact and leaving a slight dent in the plaster, he could've taken off her head!

"I'm so sorry Wally," Megan cried using her telepathy to stop another fluffy projectile, her eyes widened slightly, the amount of energy she'd needed, it was on par to how much she'd needed to stop a rampaging Superboy.

"Out, out, out!" he screamed pelting two pillows in their general direction, Conner took one to the chest, nearly flying into the wall, he didn't know Wally could generate that amount of force with just one blow. Robin flipped over the second one, there was a cracking sound as the wooden dresser behind him broke, he'd inspect the damage later and report to Bruce.

The room resembled more of a winter battlefield than anything else now, the bits of fluff raining down softly, covering everything. Everyone stood perfectly still, the speedster kept his back to them but they could see his finger twitching for something else to launch at their worthless hides.

He shook his head sharply at Kaldur, he knew exactly what their leader was thinking, he was in charge, he should've intervened at some point. He gave him the 'don't-make-worse' look and turned his back on his red head, he had a lot of footage to go over but maybe it was time to tell Uncle Barry.

* * *

><p><p>

"He **_what_**? Okay boys, one more time please," Barry sighed pinching the bridge of his nose, he leant forward slightly to make sure he heard each and every syllable properly.

"#1 on the something's wrong with Wally list: He's not eating, I know because we actually have food in the base, and when he actually does eat, it's rabbit food." Dick stated grimly, Wally had run off somewhere as soon as the corridor outside his room was empty. He hadn't gone home and his tracer was offline, satellites couldn't find him anywhere and really, he was afraid of just what a pissed Wally was capable of doing.

"#2: He's not sleeping, proof; the insanely dark circles under his eyes," Roy ticked off, he'd heard the entire fight from the mountain rec room just down the hall. He'd stayed away because, really if Wally wasn't listening to Dick then there wasn't a chance in hell he would listen to the older red head.

"#3: He's not talking, at all, all he does is hole up in his room until everyone else goes to sleep and then he'll just wander up and down the halls," Dick continued. He'd run the footage at least ten times for bugs, looping, holograms, anything that would say what he was seeing was wrong because Wally didn't just walk. Wally walking was like Batman deciding to make a music video with Joker, it just didn't happen!

"#4: He's nearly always mad at someone, something, the speck of dust on the edge of his nose, the invisible pixie people, anything really. It's weird Barry, and unwarranted, well except for Megan snooping around his thoughts, what did she hear anyway?" Roy questioned finally getting around to it. As soon as Wally ran out of the base, he'd found Dick pacing up and down in his own room, neither one had needed to say it, it was a given. They needed to tell Barry.

He'd heard the cussin' loud and clear and whatever Megan had seen must've been pretty damn private if Wally reacted like that to her. Yeah Wally knew they were dating now, thank you Artemis for your lovely personality giving me even more shit to clean up.

But even if he knew Megan was odd the dating list, he wouldn't have reacted like that, he wouldn't have yelled at her, cursed her, hell Wally never cursed! He'd never even heard Wally sound so mad and attacking his friends, even with something as nonlethal as pillows, it was strange for him but to have attacked with enough force to send Superboy into a wall?

"I have no idea, but he was really mad. He yelled at Megan, he didn't want to listen to me, **_me_** his best freakin' friend since he became Kid Flash!" Dick grumbled pulling out a laptop from his bag.

"Dick calm down, is the list of Wally wrongness done or is there more?" Barry questioned staring at his hands, he should've realized first, he was Wally's mentor, his Uncle for pete's sake!

"And finally #5: He's afraid, why I don't know, how I know this well the footage doesn't lie Uncle Barry. I went through all the data from the last month of Wally at the cave, for the first week or so, he'd fine but after our bout with Scarecrow, he starts to change. I brought all of it with me, this is from the first night since the gassing," Dick explained pulling up a video file.

He leaned in closer to watch the screen, he saw a familiar bedroom with a flash carpet and posters of everything from the Justice League to various supermodels to famous scientists. Wally lay tangled up in his canary yellow sheets, something he'd done for as long as Barry could remember, they always joked that one day he would choke himself.

The smile that had started to grow on his face instantly died as the young red head shot out of bed, his eyes wild, sweat lending a sickly sheen to his pale features, his freckles standing out like dried blood. He made and involuntary movement towards the screen before he caught himself, this was the past, he couldn't change this. The younger speedster sat up against the headboard, holding himself tightly as he rocked back and forth, tears streaming down his face. It tore at Barry's heart to see his nephew, his son like that, so scared, so alone, so young.

"Dick why-why didn't you let me know about this earlier? I should've realized something was wrong when I didn't see him around as much but I never thought…" his sentence remained unfinished as the two boy exchanged glances.

"We didn't notice either, we've all been neglecting him, since his birthday it's all been so hectic," Roy explained miserably, his head hung in shame.

"I know Roy boy, I guess we all got it into our heads that Walls is a big boy now and didn't need anyone's help," the blond muttered staring down at his hands as well, should've known.

"Um, there's more, remember a couple of weeks ago when we got the second tip off about Scarecrow? Well Wally got gassed that time too, only his attitude did a 180 from apathy to anger. Here's the footage from **_that _**night," Dick mumbled pulling up another file.

The time read 3:45 in the am and Wally was sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at a poster of Flash, glaring at it, you could tell from his expression that he was pissed. He ran a hand through his red hair, pausing slightly at his temples as though feeling something there, scars maybe. His other hand made a fist in the sheets, he looked very mad and he continued to glare at the poster, anyone with a brain could tell he was pissed with Barry but why, well only Wally knew.

Just as Barry thought his nephew would throw something at the poster or maybe rip it off the wall, his cell phone ran, the ringtone indicating it was Robin. His brows furrowed in worry as the scowl was wiped off that freckled face, replaced by a thousand watt smile, bipolar much?

_'Hey Rob.'_ A pause while Dick spoke then, _'Sure, what time does it start?'_

He nodded interested until the call was over then the façade slipped, teeth barred in a ferocious snarl that could be heard even through the weak speakers of the laptop, a sound of pure fury.

_'Fuck!'_

The blond stared in shock as the phone was flung against the wall with enough force that the broken pieces not only pierced the wall but rebounded and stuck in the two foot thick metal door. He didn't think Wally could generate that amount of force, that phone had been going well over the speed of sound and he doubted either boy had seen it until they'd slowed down the video a few hundred times.

"And just one more, this was just before Megan had Conner bust down the door," Dick specified pulling up one last video, he suppressed a sigh of relief, Wally was just in his room drinking coke.

_ 'Fuck.'_

He watched slightly amused as the clumsy to a fault speedster spilled the coke on his prized Flash carpet.

_"So fucking useless, Rudy's right, I deserve all the shit I get." _

The boy threw himself down on the carpet scrubbed furiously until his fingers bled, muttering under his breath about Rudy this, Rudy that and how he deserved every single thing. When the stain had finally come out, Wally sat there, his knees pulled up and his chin resting on them, he seemed to be lost in thought, or a dream.

They all watched in mild horror as the speedster started to vibrate so fast Dick had to slow it down so they could see the tears that dried instantly because of the heat. They saw the red head tilt forward as Megan started screaming for Conner, and they saw him black out for the space of three seconds then regain consciousness.

They watched as he leapt back into his bed, pretending he'd been asleep, pretending that nothing was wrong but the anger, that was all too real.

"I-I think it's time we had a talk with Wally, all of us," Barry stated numbly, he couldn't, it was just too, it was his fault, he hadn't paid any attention to his nephew for so long and now, God!

"But we don't know where he is. Nothing, satellites, tracers, nothing, it's like he just vanished into thin air," Dick complained doing another sweep of the Watch Tower's database, still nothing.

"I'll go get him and bring him back, oh Gods," Barry whispered, he should've listened to Bruce, that therapist the year before, maybe she wasn't as crazy as he'd thought. But Rudy, he'd said something about Rudy on the video, Rudy, there was too much he'd ignored, too much he was seeing now.

'Martian Manhunter to Flash, a fire has started in Keystone General, firefighters are already on scene but cannot contain it for long.'

"Damn it all to hell. I'm on my way, MM, Flash out."

He sighed and all three shared the 'being-a-superhero-sucks-but-it's-our-job' look.

"It's no use trying to track him down without you, we might as well help with the fire," Dick offered, really what was the point? Even if they found him, Wally was a Flash, they couldn't catch him and he was pissed, he might want to fight and if those pillows were anything to go by. Plus he didn't want to face Wally on his own, he didn't even want to do it with Roy, they were in over their heads and needed an adult now.

"Okay," Barry replied, his voice weary, he was worried about Wally but those people in the hospital needed them more, he only hoped Wally wouldn't do anything too stupid.

* * *

><p><strong>DEF: The fire at the hospital was random I admit, I was gunna have some elaborate plot by one of the Flash's villains but though it'd be a bit too much overkill.<br>**

_Vita: Yeah cause havin' him cuss out everyone and storm off ain't overkill. It's called teen angst or maybe it's the teenage condition whichever.  
><em>


	8. God I've tried, am I lost in your eyes?

**DEF:**** Strange how this one panned out, not exactly as I imagined but close enough.  
><strong>

_Vita: Isn't that how it is with most things in that pathetic excuse you call a life? Anyway, we own Keystone General, the dude who designed it (Nini, Nuski and Rina) but nothing else! Got it? Good, you may continue.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"God I didn't think it'd get this bad," Robin muttered helping a middle aged woman covered in soot over to the ambulances, he coughed into his glove looking around for Red Arrow. They'd been at this for less than tem minutes and already the east wing was demolished by fire, the middle had been evacuated but the west wing was still half full, Barry was over there now.<p>

He coughed again, despite his gas mask, the smoke was still getting to him, of all the times for Wally to go insane, the one time they really needed him. If he were there, Barry would be done already and he wouldn't be having a mini-anxiety attack, in retrospect, that was probably**_ because_** of Wally so it kinda cancelled itself out. He waved a few more people over to the ambulances, the people of Keystone had really risen to the challenge, already more than forty volunteers were on site helping wherever they could.

"Red Arrow to Robin, we need your help evacuating the west wing pediatric ward." He sighed softly as his comlink crackled to life, the kids were safe enough for at least ten minutes before the fire spread, if they were lucky. In the background, ambulances were blaring loudly, ready to take the patients to Central City general for treatment, gotta love the twin cities.

"On my way, where's Flash?" He questioned, the last he'd seen of Barry, he'd been over in the decimated east wing carrying out those who'd been left behind, according to the hospital records no one had been lost, yet. Was it wrong to think like that he wondered? In Gotham one learned it that way, expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised when it didn't turn out quite so bad. Because in Gotham nothing ever turned out good, he'd heard it was different in Bludhaven though...

"With Comish Barran clearing out the maternity ward on the third floor." The petit brunet nodded grimly, this was no time to be thinking about Bludhaven he had a job to do God damn it! He ran along side the firetruck, shooting off his grappling gun and swinging in through an open window into a ward. He readjusted his mask lens to deal with the smoke and ran through the nearly deserted halls to the upper levels where the evacuation was still going on.

* * *

><p><em>'Worthless pathetic little bastard! Didn't I tell you they didn't give a shit about you? They don't care what you think or how you feel, you're just dead weigh to them!'<em>

"Shut up, shut up, shut up," he chanted punching the rock until it crumbled into a fine sand, the voice wasn't going to get to him, no matter how much it was right. He slammed his fist into another rock formation, he didn't care that all the bones in both hands were shattered, it didn't matter.

It didn't matter that the voice was right, that he was just dead weight, that he was the comic relief or that his team didn't give a rat's ass about him. He turned with a pained shout, kicking a boulder away from him, there went the bones in his foot, he sat down heavily.

What the hell was he doing? He was here taking out his frustration on rocks because he had cussed out Megan, ignored Rob and tried to kill them with pillows! Pillows god damnit! Pillows that had stopped Superboy, that Megan had barely been able to stop with her raw telepathy!What if one had hit Rob or Artemis?

They would be dead right now, hell if one had caught Zatanna or Kaldur they'd be dead. If one caught Robin or Artemis they would be headless corpses. And who'd be to blame, who's fault would it be? **_His_**! It would be all his fault, his own damn fault!

It didn't matter that the voice was influencing his thoughts, his attitude, he was supposed to be better than that. What had Kent called him? Or right a soul of science, and science equaled logic. Where was that logic now? Where had it been for the last freakin' month?

_'Well what do you expect from a cheap knock-off? You'll never be as good as the original so why try? Come on Wally, give in to the darkness, we've got so much more to offer.'_

"No, not real, just in my head. Mental breakdown due to lack of sustenance, exhaustion and intense emotional strain," he muttered panting heavily, God he was barely running on fumes now, so tired. His cupboards were empty and he was in the middle of the Sahara desert, miles away from the nearest civilization. He'd turned off his tracer when he ran from the cave, satellites couldn't get a lock because of the electromechanical disrupter he'd whipped up.

God, he was such an idiot, Rob wouldn't be able to find him in time if he gave up now, no one would until months later when he was merely a bleached out carcass, picked clean of any meat. Then again, what would they care after the first month or so? They'd be obligated to search for at least a month, it was their duty as heroes after all and public image was everything, what their public say if he went missing?

But after the first month, who would remember the fast talking speedster? He was a nuisance, a annoyance, like the mosquito that kept buzzing in your ear. He was a parasite, he took and took without ever giving back. Fuck, he'd be glad to get rid of himself!

'Wally if you're out there, I'm sorry about everything. I know there's no possible excuse I could make but I just want you to know we **_all_** feel terrible about all of this, Artemis included. Robin and Red Arrow were looking for you but when they couldn't find you, they went to Keystone to help with a fire.'

He scowled, Keystone was his city, what right did either one of them have doing there? The only times either one had ever helped was because Barry or Wally had invited them, you didn't just go saving another hero's city. There had to be a rule or something about that.

How would Dick like it if Kid Flash showed up in Gotham unannounced and took out Penguin? Wouldn't Roy just love it if he ran through Star and cleaned up the local drug cartel that he knew Roy was experimenting with!

_'See? They don't care, they don't respect you as a hero, they barely respect you as human being!'_

He clenched his hands angrily, the voice, for once it was right, they didn't care about him, they didn't give a damn about his feelings, he didn't even have the privilege of privacy anymore!

'Wally? Wally, what's going on-'

Since when could Megan reach so far? Unless she were tracking him by thought again. Scramble your thoughts Wallace, faster than she can read, come on you can do it, don't let the bitch win!

He shook his head rapidly, faster, anger, block her out, forget about her, start running, go! He barely heard the sonic boom behind him, zero to seven hundred in less than a millisecond, faster, come on you idiot! You can hit light now, faster than this, you need to get there **now**!

* * *

><p>"Robin get out of here now!" Flash yelled eyes wide as he came across the younger hero on the second floor, the west wing's corridors were starting to fill with acrid black smoke and the entire place wasn't even evacuated yet, they still had another five wards.<p>

"No! There're kids here, I won't leave until you do!" the slender brunet shouted kicking down a door, the scarlet speedster sighed heavily through his nose, this kid was gonna get himself bar-b-qued! Trust the Bat to grow him up so stubborn, he hadn't been like this in the beginning, no he'd been an obedient little bird. After six months in he turned into an pig headed mini bat.

"Red Arrow to Robin, the ground floor is cleared, you two better hurry, the firefighters can't contain it for much longer." He nearly cussed in frustration, if only Wally were here then they wouldn't be in this mess! the fire had taken out the stairways which meant the fastest way of getting people out now, was to lift them through the windows.

"Robin, as a full Justice League member, I order you to evacuate the building immediately!" He yelled above the roar of the flames, maybe just this once the kid would listen. Please God, I don't ask you for much, just this one itty bitty thing

"No, I can help, I'm still good!" the little bird argued lifting a child to her feet, she was dazed from the smoke but otherwise she was okay. Thanks a lot God, no wonder Wally doesn't believe in you.

"Robin don't make me call Bats, you know he'll make you," he threatened taking the girl from the boy's arms, he braced for whatever point the boy made next, whatever valid point but it never came. He was sure they'd carry on the argument until the last ward at least, thank you God, sorry for ever doubting the powers that be!

"Okay, give her to me, I'll take her out with me," Robin sighed fixing a gas mask over the girl's mouth, instructing her carefully on how she was only to breathe through her mouth before launching through a broken window with her.

He swallowed past the hard lump in his throat, the smoke didn't affect him as much as it should because his lungs were filtering the air at hyper speed but it still annoyed him. He broke down another door and picked up another two children, running them to an open window where firefighters were waiting for him.

The flames were starting down the corridor, already the two wards he'd cleared out where on fire, he breathed deeply of the clean, fresh air before rushing past them. Three more wards, according to the roster, there were twins in the first, a small boy in the second and an eight year old in the last.

"M-my sister's not waking up!" He nodded solemnly and lifted the pair, one unconscious, the other wide eyed with fear, running them out into the corridor, no window in their room. What kind of retarded ass hospital architect doesn't put windows in all the wards?

They found the little boy covering underneath his bed, his face pale and streaked with tears, thankfully there was a window in his ward.

"Okay kids, sit tight for one second, alright?" he instructed putting the twins down on the boy's bed, the window was made of glass but metal bars that functioned in place of blinds were too close for the children to squeeze through. Again, what kind of retarded ass design was that?

Maybe the guy who'd done Arkam had gone into Hospital design and had had a hand in the construction of Keystone General, yup that made complete sense.

He shouldn't do this here but there really wasn't any other choice, he bit his lip as his hands started to vibrate, he had to calculate it exactly otherwise he'd just faze through the metal. Okay almost there, a bit more there! Hold! Quickly, efficiently, he bent the bars back until they broke from the friction, when they were gone, he slowed the vibrating and punched. The glass broke cleanly with seconds to spare and he didn't even care that he'd cut his hand badly.

"Right, come on," he called lifting the children one at a time through the window making sure their clothes, or worse their skin, didn't get caught on the superheated metal. That had happened to him once, although it had been shrapnel and had cooled in his skin which promptly healed over leading to a lovely operation where they hat to pick shards of metal out of his skin.

Right, one more kid to go, you've got time Allen, nothing to panic about, still he broke light times two getting into the third ward only to stop dead.

Wally was there, helping the little girl out the window, his face set in deep lines of anger.

Then it all exploded in fire and death

* * *

><p>He'd seen Uncle Barry take the twins into the second ward, which just meant he had to take care of the little girl, easy peasy lemon squeezy.<p>

He found her sitting calmly on her bed, hands clasped in prayer, poor kid, she'd accepted death already, when this was over, he'd go visit her, see how she was doing. He lifted her gently, surprised at how impossibly light she was and carried her over to the window.

"Thank you Kid Flash," she murmured as he lifted her through the window, he smiled at her, nodding to the firefighter who took her.

"Well if it isn't my little guinea pig," the man laughed, he frowned, what the.

"You wouldn't believe how much fun I've had with you, and the fun's about to hit an all time high!" the man laughed spraying him with a odorless liquid and pushing him back hard before he disappeared down the ladder.

He snarled in anger, getting to his feet as he hit the floor, using the fall as propulsion, he made it back to the window in time to be hit with something about the size of a child. Then his world decided to tear itself apart.

* * *

><p><strong>DEF: Ten points and a dustmote to the one who can guess what the hell just happened!<br>**

_Vita: Where the hell are you getting a dustmote and ten points at what? You don't play anything, you barely play Jak and Dax and you took five years to finish part II!_

**DEF: Mean diarrheadanna, I don't like you anymore! At least I know my reviewers care so nyeah! Review and show the meanie that someone likes me.**_  
><em>


	9. So let it all burn! I will burn first!

**DEF:**** Damn, the povs just jumped from one to the next. I swear, sometimes I just typed and then realized who the hell was talking. I like to call it DC character intervention.  
><strong>

_Vita: And I like to call it insanity. Anyway, I proofread and had no fugeing idea who the hell was talking until Robs pointed it out so yeah. We don't own DC but we do own, um...this piece of half burnt spanish test paper!  
><em>

* * *

><p>The world exploded in hot fiery pain, the smoke was too thick, he tasted blood on his tongue and felt a stinging pain running from temple to jaw. His goggles were gone and he couldn't see more than two feet in front his face but he could see well enough to make out the eight year old in his arms.<p>

"I-I'm scared," she whimpered clutching his costume tightly, she coughed and passed out, he hugged her tightly to his chest, Gods, he couldn't even see the wall.

The flames danced before him, dervishes given life and a voice, they hissed and laughed at him, reaching ever closer, licking at his legs. He shuddered violently, if he were alone he would definitely embrace them, end it all in one last fiery blow out but he had someone else to worry about this time.

He didn't care anymore, they had to get out, someway, he got up and ran blindly, he had no idea where the hall was or if it even existed anymore, all he knew was that he wasn't running into anything.

* * *

><p>"Was that Kid Flash?" Commissioner Barran asked, his face was streaked with soot and he had a nasty cut running along his arm where a doorway had collapsed on him.<p>

"I think so, Flash's still in there, he probably went to find him," the paramedic suggested but still, Robin could see the worry etched into their faces, if either one of the speedsters died in there, it would destroy these people. He wondered idly if Gotham would mourn either of its Bats, there would be the few who they'd saved personally and then the vast majority who saw them as nuisances, worse than the villains they worked to beat.

When he'd started all those years ago, he'd get mad whenever someone badtalked either Robin or Batman but as Bruce constantly reminded him. Their superhero selves and civilian selves were two completely different beings and what someone said about one should not affect the other. Sure it was hard separating himself into different parts but it damn well worked.

"Don't worry, they're both too stubborn to let a little fire get 'em," he joked biting his lip hard, that had been Wally, how in God's name had he heard about the fire? Maybe he hadn't been as far away as they'd thought, maybe West had been hiding out in Keystone for the last couple of hours.

"Most of the patients are on their way to Central Gen, the firefighters are getting ready to use the high power hoses," Roy reported, he looked like a survivor from a disaster movie. The little bird set his mouth grimly, they all did, a few people had suffered third degree burns but nothing too life threatening.

"There's KF and the last patient," he pointed out giddily, the firefighter took the child from the younger hero, then he pushed Wally back, what the? Okay maybe the hoses were about to hit and he was telling Walls to get down, the man threw the girl back in through the window and slid down the ladder.

Okay, he pulled out a bola and threw, just in time for the ground to disappear underneath his feet.

"Earthquake!" He crouched down, it didn't feel like an earthquake in fact it more resembled an.

"Explosion! Everyone get down!"

* * *

><p>Oh Gods, fire everywhere, hungry red flames every which way he turned, there was no way out and the girl wasn't breathing anymore. He nearly lost his grip on her when he slammed into a wall, where did it go? Was it a way out or just a divider between rooms?<p>

No way to know until he got on the other side…but he'd never been able to reach the speed necessary to shift through objects. If he screwed up, then they were dead, if he didn't even try then there was no doubt they'd both be dead, well only one thing to do. Getting as close to the wall as he could, he started to vibrate, he hissed in pain as the flames burnt his back, his legs, everywhere, he was pretty sure some of his costume had melted onto his skin by now.

Cut the shit Wallace, it's now or never, faster!

Faster than sound, no not good enough, more, the speed of light, almost there Wallace, just a little more, faster than light, he fell through the wall, bashing his knees hard but he was through. The smoke was choking, couldn't see much anymore and he was weak but he could see well enough that the smoke was filtering out of the room.

* * *

><p>Wally oh God, where was he? The older speedster zipped through the halls, he needed to find Wally before the entire structure caved in on their heads. He'd been thrown against the wall when the place exploded and when he could finally see, Wally was gone, probably hadn't seen him and was looking for a way out of this death trap.<p>

He coughed into his sleeve, C4 explosives, hard to come by in Keystone and Central, not so much in Gotham and Star, in fact Gotham U used the stuff for chem experiments all the time. Whoever'd done this was an out of towner not something they got all that often, someone had pissed someone off bad. Or maybe someone was trying to get at Dick through Walls, it was no secret Kid Flash and Robin hung around together, once on an undercover mission for the League, he'd heard of the nickname villains had created for Speedy, Robin and Kid Flash: Those Little Shits or just TLS for short.

Almost all the stories he'd heard about the three had begun, 'Those little shits…' and ended, '…would've gotten away too if it weren't for those little shits.' It was strangely endearing yet at the same time just plain creepy so it would make sense for someone, say Penguin to blow up something in Keystone to get at Dick.

He nearly fell through the floor when the floor dropped away, he backed up a good few feet and ran forward, the gap only spanned a few feet and the moment took him over it no sweat, well figuratively at least.

"Flash, you need to get out of there now." He scowled, dodging a falling beam, trust Dick to turn his words back on him, was this some sort of payback? He couldn't leave, not until he found Wally.

"Not yet, Kid's here somewhere, I need to get him first," he replied rounding another corner, damnit, most of the walls had collapsed where was Wally?

"We know, he's climbing out through a window right now." Dick added, the little bird would never know how much of a relief that simple sentence was to the elder speedster.

"Thank God, I'm on my way out," he reported ramping up his speed to one just above light and getting the hell out of Dodge.

* * *

><p>"KF! Damn it, you nearly gave Flash a heart attack when you raced in there!" Red Arrow yelled dropping to his knees next to the half burnt kid, damn, damn, damn!<p>

"She's not breathing," he whispered, he was shaking in shock, oh Gods, not again, please don't let it happen again!

"What the hell were you thinking? Flash was running around in there looking for you!" Roy yelled but he ignored the archer, the little blonde girl wasn't breathing, he lay her gently on the ground, maybe CPR, smoke inhalation…

"And on top of that, what the fuck's been going on with you for the past month?" Roy ranted grabbing his shoulders and shaking him hard.

"She's not breathing!" He finally managed to scream, that finally got Roy's attention, the archer released him and turned to the girl quickly.

"Medic! Someone get a medic right now!" he shrieked so hard his voice broke with the effort, his heart was pounding painfully hard in fear, oh please, please no.

_'Ring around the rosie.'_

The medic all but flew over to them, he recognized the woman, Suzanne or something, followed closely by Robin and Commissioner Barran.

_'A pocket full of posies.'_

He watched mutely as Suzanne blew into the girl's mouth, waited five seconds that felt like a like time before pumping the girl's chest. Another eternity and Suzanne was blowing more air into the girl's mouth, the hollow rise and fall of the girl's chest her only reward.

_'Ashes to ashes.'_

Their panicked voices slowly faded as the fire burned behind, the firefighters were working desperately to douse the flames but the wind was picking up.

The paramedic was saying something, talking to him with that desperate, sad look on her face, he glanced at the girl for second, no more rising and falling of her little chest. He blinked as time caught up with him again and he could hear what everyone else was saying.

"I'm sorry but the smoke was too much for her, maybe a few more seconds could've made a difference but... Her name was Angeline Dixon, she was eight years old and was admitted for a severe asthma attack," Suzanne explained. He found himself nodding dumbly, Angeline, asthma, dead.

_'Your fault, you were so much of misfit that it killed this little girl. What do you have to say for yourself? Are you happy now, proud of yourself?'_

* * *

><p>The small brunet swallowed the bile that rose in his throat, the kid was dead, a kid was dead. Sure he'd faced this a lot of times before but each time, every life lost only it made it harder to carry on. The death made it harder to carry on but it also fueled his inner drive, it made him want to be a hero. Every time he doubted himself, all he had to do was remember the face of any one of the dead he'd dealt with over the last four years and he'd realize just how much he was needed.<p>

"Hey Kid, what…" he didn't need to look up to see the widening of those blue orbs behind opaque white lens as Flash realized the girl was dead.

"My fault." His head snapped up faster than he thought possible, Wally was sitting away from them, holding his knees tightly, eyes shut muttering to himself.

"KF," he called loudly, the red head didn't even respond, he frowned, walked over to where the red head sat and crouched down in front of him.

"Kid Flash, Wally," he hissed shaking his friend hard, still nothing, it was almost as though Wally were lost in his own little imaginary world and wasn't coming out for anything. The orange tinted goggles the speedster always wore were gone so the bird had a clear look at those expressive emerald greens.

They weren't clouded over but more focused on something else, something no one else would be able to see but was real to the red head. A hallucination brought on by the smoke or…

"Come on KF talk to me," he murmured pulling a vial from his belt and breaking it under Wally's nose, he shouldn't be doing this, as in he **_really_** shouldn't be doing this. The compound in the vial was only supposed to be used on Scarecrow's fear gas victim's, anyone else would go into metabolic shock and possibly a coma but Wally **_was_** a Flash and this was serious.

The antidote would send the victim's metabolism into overdrive to help burn off the toxins, in a Flash, the most it would do was give them a high for a few seconds then they'd crash, like a normal caffeinated person. In a normal person, the metabolism would spike off the charts for exactly sixty seconds before dropping off the charts. Their metabolic rate would slow down until they needed a machine to keep them alive, no one ever really recovered from a fear antidote induced coma.

"Damn it leave me alone!" He winced when the red head yelled loudly right in his ear but at least he was back to the real world, well relatively. There was a haunted glint in those emerald greens now and a sickly sheen of sweat over a too pale face making freckles stand out like old blood.

"KF, calm down, it's just me," he assured the older boy taking that too pale face between his hands, the red head still didn't look good but anything was better than the blankness from before.

"Rob? Oh right, we got out, the girl Angeline is she okay?" Wally asked craning his neck as best as he was able while still in the little bird's grasp to find the girl.

"KF, I'm sorry, she's dead. She had asthma and the smoke only made it worse, the paramedic said more time and maybe they could've saved her but that doesn't make it you fault alright?" he added quickly knowing Wally would jump to that conclusion instantly.

"No Rob, if I hadn't run off like a spoiled brat, I would've been here when Flash got the call I could've helped more. We would've gotten out more people faster and Angeline wouldn't be dead," the red head rationalized calmly.

* * *

><p>"O-okay," Robin said confused but said nothing more on the subject, Wally knew he was to blame and he knew how he could make up for his idiocy.<p>

"I mean, yeah I'm sad she's gone but she wouldn't have wanted me to beat myself up over it, would she?" he asked, it was meant to be rhetorical; of course he wouldn't beat himself up over it. He had Rudy for that didn't he?

"Of course not Kid, you did everything you could to save her. Now let's all get to the hospital to get checked over," Barry instructed appearing next to his nephew. The bird and the archer nodded, while Suzanne and another paramedic, Jacobs, zipped Angeline's body into a body bag.

He planned out an elaborate story to get them all off his back, he couldn't very well have them stalking him now could he? He'd have to do something about those cameras in his room as well and change the passcodes, well after he got a new door that is.

_'~And I fall down~And I fall down~And I fall down~And I fall down~'  
><em>

He smiled to himself, at least this time the voice was right, soon he'd fall down into a place where no one would ever be able to get to him ever again.

* * *

><p><strong>DEF: Okay, one thing I'd like to get off my chest. I have been guilty of cutting once upon a time and planning in advance how to lie and hide and act so I'm writing from experience from now on.<br>**

_Vita: Let it be known I myself was tricked by her acting, I dunno if I'm gullible or she's just one hell of actress. I plead the latter!  
><em>


	10. Okay, spill you little bleep!

**DEF:**** Yeah, not even gonna try and explain this, cause I honestly can't.  
><strong>

_Vita: We don't own YJ or Justice League:Doom, which was done during YJ's haitus created by the same people we're betting, just look at the designs.  
><em>

* * *

><p>"Ouch that stings!" he hissed while the doctor just gave an apologetic half smile and pulled another piece of his mutilated costume off his flesh. He rolled his eyes and turned to look over at Barry and Roy who were having the same problem, which was strange, his suit was designed by Dr. Palmer, a friend of Uncle Barry's.<p>

The material was a special atomic mix that the two eggheads whipped up, the fabric couldn't wear out due to friction which equals heat which means something didn't add up. They'd tested the suits in explosions, in fires hotter than the one at the hospital and nothing, why was it stuck to his skin now? Unless he'd been going too fast?

There was a lock off point where the material just couldn't keep up, maybe they'd both reached it who knew cause he sure as hell didn't.

"So KF, how's things? Had any late nights recently?" Robin questioned pointedly, oh crap, the Gods that might or might not exist really hated him didn't they?

"Yeah, real long, can we talk later? As in when Dr. Dixon patches me up and dubs me fit to leave this place?" he muttered not that it would matter who heard, Barry already knew as did Roy and the doctors wouldn't be able to make heads or tails out of it. Still, there was a sense of privacy that he needed in muttering, so mutter he would until they got off his case.

"Fine, but we are going to talk and no running away 'cause Flash can catch you, no matter how fast you go fleetfeet," it came across jokingly but the warning was still there, only a Bat. He shrugged and made a show of fidgeting, he didn't really want to move, he was sleepy, guess killing a kid can do that to you.

"Whatever, so long as I can sleep after," he replied yawing without having to prompt himself which was good, he'd need all his abilities as an actor to fool all three of them. Barry he could handle easy, he'd been lying about Rudy for years, Roy and Dick would be harder, lots harder, they knew about Rudy to an extent which was more than he'd ever wanted them to know.

* * *

><p><p>

The ride back to Central was quiet, too quiet, in a car full of all guys, three being teenage heroes who'd just helped save an entire hospital full of people, well except one little girl. The blond speedster frowned, his grip on the wheel of his car tightening until his knuckles showed white, there was still something off about that that bothered him.

The girl, Angeline, he'd seen Wally hand her over to the fireman and on the way to the hospital Robin had said something about the fireman throwing the girl back inside the room. Granted they'd all been under stress over the whole thing with Wally and he shouldn't have let Robin and Red Arrow tag along and the fire could've distorted the facts a lot but still there was something strange.

He glanced in the mirror, Dick was sitting in his civies in the middle of Roy and Wally, he'd run to his house and gotten the car because one, Wally would run if he hadn't and Roy and Dick looked pooped. Too pooped to zeta to his house. Sure it was efficient but there was this weird sensation of having your molecules ripped apart, shoved through a telephone line and reassembled at another location, not all that strange for him but he'd heard t'was freakin' unpleasant.

He pulled into his garage smoothly and Hal thought he'd never relearn to drive without hitting a couple hundred pedestrians, pfft, more a couple hundred postboxes but hey, they couldn't all be perfect. He got out first, not even turning to make sure the boys followed him, they would have to eventually and he wasn't going to pressure them into anything.

Sure enough, as soon as he sat down on his favorite armchair with a few dozen hamburgers, he had to have enough for Wally too, he heard the sound of the car doors slamming. Dick trudged in first, followed by his red headed nephew who had his hands up in surrender and finally Roy who had a arrow pressed to said nephew's back.

Roy and Dick took the couch while Wally sat down on the white loveseat, the only one that was half lost in shadows, smart little bugger. The little brunet opened his mouth to say something, thought better of it and shut it, opened it, thought, shut it again.

The four sat in uncomfortable silence for what felt like hours to Barry but couldn't be more than twenty minutes still much to long for these three to be silent unless they were sleeping. He leant forward slightly, okay he'd ask, now what the hell should he ask?

Was there a book out there for talking to your teen speedster when he gets dosed with a toxin that shouldn't affect him and tries to take off the heads of his teammates from a covert younger gen superhero team? Well maybe Bats did, it'd be just like him to have something like that, as a contingency plan. He scowled rubbing at his wrist where not that long ago, in normal time at least, a bomb had been bolted through his wrist.

"Okay kid look."

"Right guys."

The two speedsters paused wondering who should speak first.

"You go fir-"

"It can wa-"

The pair frowned at each other, this wasn't going to work, one would have to give in first, and unfortunately, being the adult in the situation, he had to act responsibly.

"You first kid, I want to hear your side then we can work on it from there," he sighed leaning back against the plush leather, he could feel the headache coming on already. Maybe the pharmacy in Central was still open, he'd go and attack their asprin count.

* * *

><p><p>

He breathed quickly, okay, if he could make it here, he was going to Hollywood, no doubt.

"I know I screwed up, I dropped the ball when you needed me and now a kid is dead," he muttered dropping his eyes to the beige carpet, glancing up quickly to assess everyone's reactions. Rob, well Dick but he still considered him Rob, had turned away, seemingly interested in the fabric of the curtains. Roy was fidgeting slightly, Roy was a perfectionist, he didn't like, or want, to admit he'd made a mistake, even an indirect one like this.

Barry was starring at him, those clear crystal blues wide with something close to panic but also regret. Wally knew exactly was going through his head right now, how could he have not seen it? Wally was his nephew, his sidekick for God's sake! He should be working through the girl's death, not grilling him about something so stupid as teen angst!

He bit his lip until it bled to hide the macabre smile that threatened to grace his lips, oh Gods he was sadistic, a girl had died in his arms, his fault and he wanted to smile?

"Walls, it wasn't your fault, you were mad, how did you even hear about the fire anyway?" Rob questioned still not looking at him, he gave a mental shrug, of course he wasn't good enough for the mini Bat. The voice had helped him come to terms with it, now even the invasion of privacy was passé, he wasn't as good as the others so why put up pretenses?

"Megan told me, I wasn't that far from base yet and-and I feel really bad about that!" he added hastily, almost desperately, he fixed his features into something resembling almost shame, yes almost but not quite because it had been an invasion of privacy after all.

"I overreacted I almost took out Rob and Artemis, I, I'm so sorry I was just, I dunno, the nightmare it got to me!" he blurted out hysterically, Roy jumped slightly and Barry was half out his chair but Rob was eyeing him strangely, okay tamper down now Walls.

"I-I don't want to talk about it, can we just drop it? Please," he begged in the scared defenseless voice of a child, raising watery green orbs to them, fake tears, maybe, maybe not, he didn't even know anymore.

"Walls, you can talk to us about anything, you know that right?" Rob asked tentatively, he shook his head vibrating slightly, let them thing he was too distraught with the nightmare and Angeline's death to talk to them.

"Bodies, I saw so many dead blood stained bodies. You, and Roy, and Aunt Iris and mom and dad and the team and, and everyone I knew. Then the bodies, you guys were on fire laughing at me, you were saying it was my fault, singing it in this voice I **_hated_**," he whispered clenching his hands into fists.

He nearly choked from holding back the laughter that had built up in his chest, they were all so gullible! Barry was half out of his seat reaching for him, Roy was on his feet but Rob was resting an understanding hand on his shoulder. Oh Gods if only they knew, he was laughing at them behind their backs, the same way they undoubtedly laughed at him.

"Wally, calm down it was just a dream, a side effect of Scarecrow's enhanced toxin, it wasn't real. I'm sorry we didn't realize earlier," the brunet added in an undertone stooping so they were eye to eye, blue meeting green.

"Hey, not like I made it easy on you guys," he laughed humorlessly, was he crazy for wanting to grab that pretty white throat and squeezing until the boy lay limp in his arms?

"That's a bullshit excuse and you know it Kid Idiot. We're all at fault, you for not having the common sense to come to us with this problem of yours and us for not realizing you were neck deep in this crap," Roy stated simply darker green eyes blazing with anger. Did he mention Roy was perfectionist? That meant he also had a high standard for his friends, especially his best friends.

"I know Roy boy and I'm sorry, really I am but I think I'm better now. I guess the toxin just needed to run its course," he suggested with a shrug while the voice in his head busted a gut, that was rich, he was **_better_** now!

_'Oh Walls! Do tell, do people who're better want to strangle their best friends? Do they want to shove a knife down their favorite uncle's throat until he stopped sprouting his bull?'_

'Don't think so,' he replied with another shrug, he'd never admitted to being a normal person, he'd recreated a superhero experiment because his father beat the shit out of him. Well ha ha! Joke's on you Wallace, he still beats the shit out of you and like the sick little fuck you are, you take it happily without so much as a word of complaint!

"the antidote, I had a hunch," Rob finished explaining a light blush covering his high Romany cheekbones, hmm maybe he would learn Romani just to piss off the little bird.

"Dude, it's o.k. it worked and I'm fine now. Megan forgave me and Supey, Zatanna and Kal will too, don't much care about Artemis but are we good?" he questioned putting that just amount of uncertainty in his tone.

"Course KF, it'll take a lot more than some toxin to break us up," the brunet smirked and everyone was smiling again for their own little reasons. Barry because he hadn't had to intervene, he was just the heavy, if he'd tried to run, Barry would've caught him and dragged him back kicking and screaming.

Roy was the bad cop, he would bitch and shout and gripe like nothing else but he'd be there all the same to maintain some semblance of peace. He was just happy everything was back to normal, at least in his mind it was. Rob was the good cop, the concerned friend who was most likely beating himself up over the fact his best freakin friend had gone through what amounted to hell and he hadn't known. He was happy he had his best friend back and he was gonna try like hell to make up for this

But Wally's smile was probably the most genuine out of all of them. He'd fooled them all! He was in the clear to do as he pleased without fear of being found out!

_'__And small town boy makes it big. What's your next big movie going to be Wally? Maybe a horror, or better yet a tragedy where a young boy is abused and neglected to the point where he just can't take it anymore! _

_Sound familiar?'_

* * *

><p><strong>DEF: I love my danna, she got the movie for me and the poster to go wid it so when I wake up the first thing I see are sexy Flasher and Bats!<br>**

_Vita: Yeah yeah yeah, you love me, blah. Anyways, go check out Justice League:Doom and Justice League:Crisis on Two Earths, the designs of the JLA are the same as in YJ so yeah. At least we know they were doing something productive during the intermission not just sitting on their lazy asses.  
><em>


	11. From my first to my last

**DEF:**** Just watched the newest ep of YJ and turns out Conner is actually Chris, strange. Anyone know if Miss M is really a white martian like in the comics?  
><strong>

_Vita: All I heard was blah, blah, blah, cause honestly, I don't give a streaking damn but anywho, we don't own DC, not sure if that's good or not.  
><em>

* * *

><p>The first time it had happened, the first time Rudy had hit him, he'd been six and it'd been so quick he hadn't even see it coming, his dad had just hit him and it'd been hard enough to bruise. For days there'd been this dark purple splotch across his ribs that hurt when he breathed too heavily. His mom hadn't said anything about it, she'd pretended that nothing was wrong that Rudy was still the loving husband and father he'd always been.<p>

He hadn't know what he done wrong, wasn't he allowed to play with his toys in the kitchen? Was he being too loud and woke up daddy when he was sleeping? Well he'd have to be more careful next time, he wouldn't play in the kitchen or make too much noise while daddy was asleep.

* * *

><p>The second time he'd been eight just going on nine and they'd been going home after the family reunion, he couldn't believe he'd just met <strong><em>the<em>** Flash! It'd been amazing and oh my god!

Aunt Iris' boyfriend was nice too, oh wait, fiancé because they were gonna get married in a few weeks. He couldn't believe that Aunt Iris had actually wanted **_him_** to be the ring bearer, that'd be so cool, he couldn't wait.

He never knew what triggered it that time, he'd only been getting something to drink from the fridge when dad came in and slammed the door on his head. It had really hurt and he'd fallen heavily on the cold tile. He had felt the warm wetness spreading from his temple, it'd been blood and all over his new flash shirt too, maybe mom could wash it out.

Rudy had grumbled something about him being in the way, a damn nuisance and stalked out of the kitchen into the backyard, he'd stayed there on the ground until his mom came downstairs and found him. She hadn't been afraid or worried; she'd just bundled him up and taken him to the hospital where the nice nurse gave him a shot that took away the pain.

He still had that scar on his temple but his fiery red hair hid it and if anyone asked, mom had told him to lie and say he fell or something. He must never tell on his daddy and he accepted it.

* * *

><p>By the time he'd gotten his powers, he'd learnt how to hide the scars well, it helped when he got hurt during battle and his new superhero job was a good way to lie to Uncle Barry. He hadn't wanted to lie to Uncle Barry, he'd loved his uncle and he hadn't liked having to come up with lame excuses whenever he visited.<p>

His powers had made the bruises disappear faster and sometimes they'd be gone before anyone had a c chance to notice them, sometimes he'd be tempted to tell Uncle Barry. After all Uncle Barry is the Flash, a superhero and they help people who can't help themselves, like him, but he remembers what mom told him. If you love your father, you keep your mouth shut and don't talk back.

He'd scrubbed his face tiredly, he'd only just got back from patrolling with Uncle Barry, it'd been twelve at night and he had school the next day but he should've known it had never been that easy. Dad had been waiting for him, his eyes bloodshot and his face had that pasty gray tinge that's never good, it meant that the bruises were going to take that much longer to heal.

He'd stopped dead in front on the chair, eyes downcast as he'd tried not to fidget, Rudy hated it when he did that and he'd really just wanted to go to bed. Rudy had clucked in disapproval, the chair squeaked as the two hundred pound man got to his feet and towered over the little red head, Wally had wait because that'd been all he could do.

"Worthless, that's what you are Wallace, you're a disgrace to the family name you scrawny runt," Rudy'd growled and landed a solid punch to his ribs. The speedster had seen black spots dancing in front of his eyes and missed the fist that was aimed at his face; he felt his nose break as his head snapped back. He'd falled heavily on his side but Rudy hadn't missed a beat, he never did no matter how much Wally prayed for it, he'd been there kicking the downed boy in the ribs.

"Get out of my sight you pitiful waste of space," Rudy'd spat storming off to the backyard, Wally'd waited til the count of 180000 milliseconds or three minutes according to the clock before struggling to his knees. Over the years, he'd learnt how to self diagnose his various injuries, he'd had at least three broken ribs, a dislocated shoulder, a broken nose and some deep tissue bruising on his back.

He'd fought his way into a sitting position using the chair as a stabilizer, he'd been so tired but first things first, he'd felt for the socket, grit his teeth and relocated his shoulder. Then he'd bit down on his lip until the pain passed, he hadn't even noticed that his lip was bleeding until he had to spit out the excess blood. Maybe he could just spend the night down here, it had comfortable there and he wouldn't be in Rudy's way. He had been well hidden away in the shadow of the leather armchair; Rudy hadn't even have to pass him to get to the stairs.

* * *

><p>"Hey guys!" he yelled running down the sparkling white sand, finally, they'd gotten the day off and he was able to join the team at the beach before seven at night. It was currently ten in the morning, the sun was shining and the water was looking heavenly despite it being November, Heatwave owed him anyway, and he was going to enjoy it to the fullest.<p>

"And that officially killed the mood," Artemis muttered taking in his beach outfit, a pair of swimming trunks with red lightening bolts and an oversized Flash shirt.

"Shut it you old hag, not even you can kill my mood," he snapped, running into the water and kicking up a spray on Rob and Supey, he snickered and made a second pass before joining them on their spread of three huge beach towels and two umbrellas.

"You know I hate when you do that, so seriously stop it," Rob complained, he gave a half apologetic grin and lay back on his beach towel, it was way too early to hit the drink he would just laze around on the sand until the water warmed up sufficiently. Being a speedster meant he always ran at a higher temp than regular humans because of the rate of the chemical reactions taking place in his body.

In the beginning, he'd run at just over normal but now, four years later, he ran a good five degrees higher than he should, Uncle Barry was one degree below him. He'd said it was because Wally was younger and still growing into his powers, Barry'd had his a lot longer and his body had become accustomed to the reactions.

"Wally! Conner I told you to tell me when he got here," Megan complained flying out to them with at least six platters behind her filled with some baked confectionery.

"He showed up six seconds ago," the clone argued while Rob snickered behind his hand, Artemis rolled her eyes and muttered something about him being 'so immature'.

"Not his fault Megs, now let's see what you cooked up this time," he interrupted quickly before it could develop into a full blown lover's spat. Wally wasn't stupid contrary to popular belief, he'd known Miss M would end up with Supey; it was like gravity, inevitable. Still can't blame a guy for trying, besides, he was still trying to make up for the incident two weeks ago. Sure Megs said he was forgiven, Super, Kal, Zatanna and Rob too but he wouldn't forgive himself.

"I found some new recipes online, I made sugar cookies with our symbols and colours, chocolate cupcakes with vanilla fillings, brownies, pancakes and cinnamon rolls," she listed proudly. He grinned at her and snagged three of the sugar cookies: a lightening bolt, an R and a Bat, was it sick that it felt good biting into the Bat?

"These are pretty good Megan," Artemis complimented and for once he had to agree with her, Miss M's baking skills had improved drastically over the months. He shuddered lightly remembering the first batch of half burnt oatmeal(?) cookies she'd made, he'd eaten the lot without stopping to consider the taste, he'd just done it to make her feel good.

"You really think so? Oh, the cinnamon rolls are for Kaldur, he loves them apparently," the green skinned girl added with a shrug, he nodded snatching a cupcake, he was allergic to them and didn't even like them that much, in fact he hated them.

_'You eat it boy or so help me!'_

Nope, not thinking about it, damn these cupcakes are good, that's right focus on the vanilla and chocolately goodness Walls. He lay back on the pleasantly warm sand staring up at the fluffy white clouds, there was a person eating a crocodile and someone dive bombing a bat, poor person.

There wasn't a little blonde eight year old girl in a hospital gown standing in the surf laughing at him, her cold blue eyes narrowed at him, her blonde hair blackened at the ends from the fire. She wasn't pointing at him and slashing a finger across her throat, she wasn't hurling insults at him.

_'You killed me! You were supposed to save me! Now I'm dead because of you!'_

He shifted slightly, readjusting the t-shirt so that the fresh bruises were well hidden, he didn't need anyone, Robin, seeing and asking awkward questions. He'd this for as long as he could remember, if Uncle Barry knew, he'd probably get mad at him for lying and take him away from mom and dad. He loved his father and he didn't blame him for what he did, if he couldn't live up to his standards, he deserved what he got.

"Yo earth to KF, where's your head at dude? I've been talking to you for the last five minutes," Rob griped snapping his fingers in front of the speedster's face.

"Sorry, I spaced staring at the clouds," he lied well half lied, he had been staring at the clouds but that wasn't what had him spacing.

"Right, I was just asking if you wanted to hit the water," Rob repeated getting to his feet, he considered it for a second, ah to hell with waiting, the sun was already plenty high enough.

"Sure but no disappearing acts, the last time you did that I thought you drowned," he muttered readjusting his shirt to cover everything from the neck to well past his waist. Rudy hadn't been kind the other night when he got in at half three after helping Uncle Barry take down Weather Wizard and Mirror Master. He was currently sporting three bruised ribs and thick welts on his back where Rudy caught him with a belt.

He waded into the deliciously warm water up to his thighs, he breathed in the sea air deeply, it wasn't often that he slowed down enough to appreciate it. Tiny cuts along his legs burned with the invading salt water but it just added to the experience, it made him feel alive.

It was strange thinking about it, he should be glad to be alive each and every day, even if he hadn't been a superhero; his dad beat him on a daily basis. He should thank his lucky stars that he lived to his sixteenth birthday without becoming handicapped or something. To think these cuts would make him appreciate his life, it was almost ironic, pain was bad and yet it made him feel good.

Okay Walls, going down a creepy masochistic road there, time to redirect to something better, um, oh Kaldur's finally here!

"I am sorry I am late, there was an incident with a whale pod and three killer sharks," Kaldur explained splashing into the water next to the two heroes.

He let his mind wander once more as Kaldur complimented Miss M on her excellent cooking skills and how much he loved the cinnamon rolls. He absent mindedly scratched at a two day old scar on his arm, glass was hell to pick out with of your right hand when you're right handed. Rudy showed how much he cared in the most sadistic of ways; he would purposely hurt him in inconvenient places like his lower back or his legs.

He swore the man had a sixth sense when it came to knowing where hurt and when, like the time he'd sprained his ankle dodging icicles with Captain Cold. Rudy had taken the opportunity to stomp down on the very same ankle and break it; he'd told Uncle Barry that he fell off the roof. Why was he up on the roof in the first place? Eh, he didn't know because he hadn't made that part up yet and Barry hadn't asked, nearly busted a gut laughing but he hadn't asked.

He sighed to himself and waded in deeper so the water was up to his chest, Barry always laughed at all the stupid things he did with his speed, tripping at 200 mph, getting a bloody nose vibrating through walls, falling his ass **_off_ **walls. It made great stuff for dinners with the Garricks, old grandpa Jay and Uncle Barry had a field day with all his screw ups and he was alright with it most of the time. It stopped being funny when it was really a lie he'd told to cover up Rudy's handiwork.

He'd broken his nose vibrating through the living room wall, actually dad broke my nose with his fist, he ran up a wall and lost momentum half way, um that's what happens when a 200 pound man punches your side. By far the worst lie, and he really couldn't believe they'd bought this one, was the one he'd told when Rudy broke his arm by kicking it.

Let's see, what had he told them? Oh that's right, he'd said he was running along the top of the Atlantic Ocean at night and ran into a fishing barge at the speed of sound. Come on people, if he'd really done that, he would've died, he would've passed out from the impact and drowned. And what, did they think he was stupid?

He might act naïve and idiotic but he wasn't stupid, he was a chemistry prodigy, a certified genius, he'd recreated the Flash accident with the exact same results for God's sake! He wasn't stupid!

Why was it so easy for them to forget he was smart? He only acted the way he did sometimes because he was 1. A teenage boy and 2. A freakin speedster. Since when could a speedster think before impulse took over, they all had that trait, that's why Bats wanted to kill Barry in various ways.

He acted on impulse when fighting because that's what kept you alive, he was still human like Rob and Artemis, he could die just as easily as the other two. He knew Artemis thought he could take more shit than her and she would be right but when it came down to it, he could die all too easily. A bullet to the chest, the head and it was all over. A hyperactive metabolism didn't help with pain tolerance, he didn't have super strength, he couldn't fly, he wasn't anywhere near as gymnastically talented as Robin, in comparison, he was the weakest of them all.

He knew that one day his powers could turn on him, make him go so fast the world around him stood still, or they could go away entirely, during a mission would be worst, while running less but still bad. And if they ever did that, shut off or overloaded, he would be plain old Wally West again.

He shuddered at the thought, Wally West was weak, pathetic, Kid Flash was strong, people loved him, they looked up to him and respected him. They thought he had the best family life in the world, after all his parents were still alive and together, they didn't fight and they loved him. He had an awesome uncle and a caring aunt, he even had the equivalent of grandparents with the Garricks, what more could he ask for?

Kaldur had his King, Megan had her uncle, Artemis had her uncle, Rob had Bruce and Alfred while Supey had the team, he was the luckiest out of the team. They didn't know and he didn't want them to know, it was better off without them knowing a single thing.

"We've been calling you for the last ten minutes Wally, is something bothering you?" Kaldur questioned appearing out of freaking nowhere and resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He breathed in sharply, quickly hiding his shock and working double time to slap on a smile for the leader's benefit.

"Yeah, just some stuff at home, it's nothing really," he lied rubbing his arm guiltily, he didn't like lying to Kaldur, in fact he was horrible at it, the only reason he got away with it was because he did it so rarely.

_'Keep lying to them, to your Uncle, to yourself. Maybe one day it'll be true, maybe one day you can look in the mirror and forget the monster that's staring back at you.'_

"Dude, we've been over this about a hundred times, something the matter? Talk about it," Rob stressed, blue orbs stern behind the too dark shades. He nodded unhappily, he was fine god damnit! Why couldn't they all just accept it and move on with their lives?

_'Because they don't trust you, because, to them, you're just a liability. They don't care about you, they're just waiting for you to screw up bad enough so they don't have to put up with you anymore.'_

"Course Rob, I'm not stupid," he scoffed turning swiftly and swimming out far enough that the shore was nothing more than a black line on the horizon. Once he was out far enough, he just relaxed, let the waves rock him back and forth, so gently, so peaceful.

He wanted to just fall asleep, to feel nothing, nothing ever again. He'd been fighting for so long, so very long, and he was fed up of it.

_'That's it Wally, close your eyes and let the sea rock you to oblivion. We can talk forever and ever there, we can become the best of friends, and there won't be any pain or lies. Not anymore, just give up.'_

He sighed contentedly, Angeline was right, she was lying on the waves next to him, he reached out and took her much smaller hand in hers. She was real, she wasn't dead, not anymore because he could touch her, or maybe he was half dead, yes that made more sense.

He let his eyes slip close, ignoring the rushing noise in his ears as the water sucked him under, ignored the burning in his chest. The rest of the team wouldn't miss him and maybe they'd never find his body, maybe they'd think he just ran off.

* * *

><p><strong>DEF: I seriously wonder how he's gonna explain nearly drowning his sorry ass but Wally's smart, he'll come up with something. Sadly I'm not Wally and have no idea what to say. T.T<br>**

_Vita: . I don't know her. I met her online, no idea what her name is or if she's really a girl. Read, review and watch the show!  
><em>


	12. Drowning, Bitches and Shockification

**DEF: I am back home! No offence but America is freakin cold and the food tastes so different! But I got a netbook and have been playing with it since we got back. Hope this was worth the wait!**

_Vita: Can you believe this bitch left me for a week and a half? No love, I swear! Anyway, we don't own Young Justice but damn did you people see Performances? We are so working that in here, next chapter and working it into a Robin angst story so look out for it!_

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><p>"Hey where'd Bay Watch go?" Artemis asked off handedly after about half an hour of Speedster free chatter.<p>

"Out there somewhere," Robin replied gesturing to the water where if she really focused, she could see a tiny black speck, Kid Idiot no doubt. She shrugged and lay back against the beach chair, wasn't her problem if the boy wanted to head out for deeper waters, so long as he could get back.

She picked at the tasseled end of her bookmark guiltily, okay maybe it bothered her a little, she was still this side of pissed that he'd hidden the toxin's effects for so long and the fact that she'd antagonized him when he wasn't mentally stable. They'd formed a somewhat normal relationship, she didn't bag on him and he didn't bag on her, all in all the best they'd ever get.

Still, she hadn't realized there was anything wrong to begin with, sure he'd stopped being so damn chipper about everything but she'd just chalked it up to wisdom that came with age. Well he was fine now so there was no reason to worry herself ragged over it anymore, except for one niggling feeling at the back of her mind.

There was something wrong, something with Wally, she wasn't sure how she knew but, somehow she knew he'd been lying when he'd come back to base two weeks ago and said he was fine. She'd felt like the biggest douche in the world when Robin explained Scarecrow's gas enhanced with the Block Buster had somehow affected Wally.

She'd called him a sick demented bastard, who knew what kind of psychological effect it had on his manipulated mind and then he helps out at the fire and a kid dies. Oh God, what could be worse? She hadn't been a hero for long but she knew stuff like that happened, it happened a lot in Gotham and Robin saw it more than he cared to admit but this was **_Keystone _**for God's sakes!

Nothing bad was ever supposed to happen in Keystone **_or_** Central, it just didn't happen, the villains there hung around with the heroes sometimes. Once she'd visited Keystone and almost impaled the Trickster for spraying her with green paint, then had her head all but chewed off by Kid Idiot for making Trickster scared. How in God's name was she supposed to know the guy was asthmatic?

Who the hell went around with an inhaler for their villains? Who the hell promised they would play a round of darts, the soft kind mind you, with said asthmatic nut job so long as he took his meds? And even worse was the time they were fighting in Central with Cap Cold and Wally collapsed.

Cap Cold nearly wrung her neck for not feeding the red headed fool and then proceeded to stuff two of those stupid energy bars down said idiot's throat. The fight resumed only after Kid Idiot was back on his feet after having down about half a dozen of the energy bars and ran to the nearest coffee shop. It had been the weirdest fight of her life, especially when she was left with Cap Cold and was warned to never run Kid down like that again or she'd have to answer to the Rogues!

"Hey where's Wally? It's nearly lunch time," Megan murmured floating over, she'd changed into a two piece affair, bright aquamarine which clashed oddly with her green skin but hey, at least she wasn't afraid of showing her true self.

"Robin said he was out there somewhere, send him a message, he'll come running," she promised getting to her feet, it was noon already and she was hungry, after the standard hour, she'd hit the water.

"I tried, either he's blocking me or he's out of my range," Megan explained after a moment's concentration, her red brows furrowing slightly.

"I shall go get him, which direction did you say Robin?" Kaldur asked getting to his feet, half a cinnamon roll still in his hand, she shrugged, the hour rule didn't apply to Atlantians obviously, they lived in the water.

"About ten degrees to your right," the boy wonder replied nonchalantly but she could see the tenseness in the smile he flashed them, there was something wrong with Wally and Rob knew it too.

She waved listlessly as the Atlantian disappeared into the horizon, refusing to meet Megan's worried gaze, Kid Idiot was fine, she was just feeling guilty.

"He's fine Meg, just needs his space," Robin explained almost in direct response to her thoughts, she cocked an eyebrow, okay either the Boy Wonderful had telepathic abilities he was hiding from everyone else or some seriously high tech mind scanner.

"I know, but still, I feel bad over what happened last two weeks. What if he doesn't trust us anymore? What if he decides to quit the team?" the Martian girl questioned pathetically. You could tell from her tone of voice it was something that'd been bothering her for those two weeks.

"He won't. He's Wally, he doesn't overt think anything that doesn't have to do with food or chemicals. Besides, he knows it was for his own good and he forgives easy, just look at Red Arrow," Robin suggested with a smile that clearly said 'inside joke'.

"But how can you be sure? He was exceptionally mad at us, he cursed and attacked us," Megan reminded him, the blonde rubbed her neck self consciously, a little bit more and she wouldn't be here.

"That was Scarecrow's toxin enhanced with Block Buster serum, he wasn't himself, his aggression levels were off the charts and he hadn't slept in more than three weeks. He wasn't Wally but now he is and if there's one thing Wally always does, it's forgive his friends." Robin stated seriously.

* * *

><p>The Atlantian frowned in confusion, Wally wouldn't have run so far out without first telling them and as it were, he was a good twenty clicks from the shore. He couldn't see the coast line, much less a thin red head such as Wally despite his excellent vision.<p>

"Aqualad to Kid Flash, are you there?" he questioned trying the rarely used comlinks, it was simply easier to use Miss Martian's telepathy. Still, the equipment was kept in working order, if need be, he could radio the Watch Tower but it drained the comlink dead.

He waited a few minutes for a response that didn't appear to be coming, he sighed. Maybe Wally had pulled, what had Robin called it? A flee-er? No a runner, it seemed an apt description for the speedster, the only question remained, why had he run?

Had he been attacked, had he fallen prey to one of the creatures of the sea or had he run because he had tired of the Team? The Leader's mouth was a thin line, he hardly blamed Wally if he had indeed pulled a runner.

They had violated his trust and then had the audacity to hurl insults at him in his vulnerable state, never mind him not being the one to utter such foul words. He had done one better than Artemis by simply standing by like a mute and saying nothing.

Robin had explained that Wally was a 'hard headed idiot who'd fight in boiling magma if we'd let him' and nothing anyone could have said at that point would have calmed him down but still. There was a pit of guilt inside him, why had he let Artemis speak at all? She lost her temper all too easily wherever Wally was concerned, he would have to work on that in case the enemy ever decided to use it against them in future.

The problem was, he decided as he scanned the entire area before striking for land once more, Wally didn't have much difficulty in dealing with the blonde anymore, in fact he was quite friendly. No the problem arose when he got to close to the blonde's home life, he would tease her about the type of room she had, or the type of house and she would automatically go on the defensive. She still didn't understand that Wally was an incredibly friendly person, he didn't much care if you lived in the Gotham City dump or Wayne Manor so long as he could talk with you.

'I swear, humans are getting a bit outrageous with this pollution thing.'

The Atlantian cocked his head, he glanced up, around then finally down to see a school of fish conversing amongst themselves, and he couldn't find it in himself to argue with them.

Humans were dumping more and more hazardous waste into the oceans with each passing day despite knowing of the delicate undersea kingdom of Atlantis and its hard to maintain ecosystem. They would throw volatile chemicals away without so much as a spare thought for the many homes they were destroying in the process of making money.

'I agree, dumping their bodies into our oceans isn't anything new but the ones who are still alive? No compassion for their fellow creature those humans. Our King would do well to complain to their leaders once more.'

He froze, body? There was a live body in the ocean, Wally!

"Pardon my intrusion, but could you possibly tell me where this body was and how long ago you had seen it?" he questioned sinking below the surface in front of the fishes.

'Of course Kaldur'ahm. There was red headed human sinking through the water a mile or two to the west, he seemed surprised for some reason, this was about a minute and a half to two minutes ago.' The fish responded respectfully.

"Thank you my friend, and I shall talk to our King about human pollutants," he promised shooting off in the direction the fish had specified, oh dear Tabil, please let Wally be alive.

* * *

><p>"Calm down or you'll wear a hole in the armrest," Zatanna warned, he rolled his eyes behind the shades Bruce made him wear, as if he cared about that. Kaldur had been gone for a good five minutes and just because he'd told Artemis not to worry about what she'd said, didn't mean he still was obsessing over it. Practicing what you preached was dead anyway.<p>

For two weeks he and Bruce had been working on how Scarecrow could develop a toxin potent enough to affect a speedster long term, Block Buster enhanced or not. The numbers just weren't making sense, the first dose had taken a while to go to work but the second dose had started working immediately. There was no way the toxin could've stayed in Wally's bloodstream for more than a day, much less weeks, there had to be something they were missing.

Outside stimulus never affected Scarecrow's victim's, they were usually trapped in a vision during which their worst fear was replayed over and over again until the person went insane. Maybe the Block Buster mix worked the opposite way, outside stimulus fueling the toxin, but that still didn't make sense, what stimulus was there to make KF so mad?

Okay yes, they'd ignored him for a while but Walls wasn't unreasonable, he knew they all had stuff to do, they had their own lives to live and all that jazz, so did he. He was a sophomore at Keystone high, he had AP Science classes to deal with and being a star in track and field, yes Wally had super speed, no he didn't use it to beat the competition.

Even before the experiment gone right Wally had been a fast little bastard, he'd actually been a first place track and field winner from before the experiment. He'd taken a year's break from the sport when he got his powers to adjust but now he was back at it as though he'd never stopped, which, technically, he hadn't.

Still, his point was, Wally wouldn't get all worked up over being ignored for a while, sure he was a people person but he knew how to be mature about things surprisingly. The slight brunet let out a small sigh of relief, shaking his head tolerantly as Kaldur appeared on the horizon, still pretty far out but close enough to make out the red head in tow.

Trust Wally to run into an island or a whale, or an oil tanker, really, his reflexes were top notch and he wasn't stupid, far from it actually, but he could act so very dumb sometimes. He waited with his hands on his hips, Roy constantly called him a mother hen and he constantly brought up the incident where he'd been shot in the ass by none other than Green Arrow. The excuse? The wind sheer had messed up his aim, the truth? Roy had been acting his usual annoying pain in the ass self, no pun intended.

"Robin something's wrong with Wally, I think he's hurt," Megan added anxiously, okay, calm down, KF healed fast he was a big boy, no need to worry. Just making sure he was okay, yeah that was why he was running into the surf and swimming out as fast as he possibly could, just to be sure.

* * *

><p>"He is not breathing!" Kaldur yelled towing the unconcious speedster along through the steadily progressing surf, the wind was picking up fast and the water was starting to get cold, if he didn't get Wally out soon there was the chance of him getting hypothermia on top of everything else.<p>

"Not good, definitely not good, we have to get him back on land. Now!" Robin all but shouted alredy striking for land at a speed the Atlantian hadn't thought possible for the little bird. Kaldur nodded for himself, pushing himself as fast as he possibly could, reaching land slightly before Robin.

* * *

><p>"Oh my-What happened?" Artemis demanded rushing up, blonde hair whipping around widly in the sudden breeze. She'd known something was wrong when Wally didn't answer Megan, she should've made Kaldur look for him earlier, Robin was still on edge over the whole Scarecrow fiasco, she couldn't trust his judgement.<p>

"Move, everyone just give me room to work!" Robin ordered, she didn't need to see his eyes behind the shades to know they were wide with panic and worry.

* * *

><p>He blocked out everyone else, he needed to focus, what had Bruce taught him about drowning victims? Okay, first, clear out the air passages.<p>

He propped up Wally's head and turned it slightly to the side, he opened the red head's mouth and took a deep breath before breathing into Wally's mouth. The speedster's chest rose and fell three times before he pulled away to pump his chest, trying to dislodge the water. He repeated the proceedure three times but still nothing, he wasn't going to lose Wally god damnit!

"Kaldur shock him!" he yelled pumping the older boy's chest again, come on Wally, you're stronger than this damnit!

"I do not think that would be the wisest-" the blond began but shut up at the look of pure hatred on the brunet's face, it was a look worthy of Batman.

"Okay, everyone needs to stand clear," the Atlantian warned charging his electrical shock before channeling it into the limp red head.

His breath caught as the electricity passed through Wally into the sand, his body jerked upwards but still nothing. He grit his teeth, he would most likely electrocute himself if he did this and Batman would have his hide but he didn't have the time for anything else.

"Again while I perform CPR, three times," he spat breathing more air into his best friend, the electrical shocks were pretty similar to the ones Joker used in his JoyBuzzers, not as lethal but still nasty. He fought the pain and the spasming in his own limbs as he pumped Wally's chest again and again, trying to force life back into the stubborn red head.

"Please Wally, you're stronger than this, don't die on me," he whispered breathing deeply once more.

* * *

><p>"Please Wally, you're stronger than this, don't die on me."<p>

He wasn't sure where the voice was coming from, it seemed to be in his head but that wasn't right, not quite at least. His body felt heavy, so heavy that he couldn't even open his eyes to see the one talking to him, he was pretty sure it was Dick though. He'd know that voice anywhere.

_'It's not really him. Since when does he beg, much less you of all people.'_ Angeline spat.

The both of them were in a room, well he supposed it was a room but really he couldn't tell, everything was black, like the closet. Angeline was standing across from where he sat with her arms crossed dressed in a black tank top and khaki shorts with black gloves and combat boots. She wasn't eight anymore either, she was more like sixteen, same age as him and she was pissed.

_'Please, he doesn't give a rat's ass about you. I mean who would, you're a pathetic piece of shit. This is what, the second time you've nearly drowned?'_ she scoffed tossing long white blonde hair over one shoulder.

"KF, come on, you can't leave me. You promised we'd be friends until we gave up being superheroes."

He tried to get up but he couldn't, there was a lead weight on his chest, almost as though Supey had sat down on top of him.

_'That's just your sick, demented mind making up things. He's Robin: Boy Wonder, protege to Batman, the first sidekick. He'll become a hero of his own making while all you can ever do is take over for Barry, that is if he doesn't dump your sorry ass before you get the chance.'_ Angeline snickered.

"Wake up, you're breathing, I can feel you breathing. Wake up West, you lazy ass!"

_'Ah now that's more his speed, right Wally?'_ Angeline asked,_ ' You're best friend think's you're a lazy ass, can't say that I blame him. Oh well, I guess we can always have fun another time if you live, so go back to them, weigh them down. Stay with the people who you know hate you and live with the man who beats you on a daily basis while your so called 'mother' watches mutley from the sidelines.'_

She tossed her white blonde hair uncaringly and stalked off to a corner of the room, he couldn't see her very well so he supposed it was a corner, she was shadowed sort of. He nearly cracked his skull open on the wall behind him when Robin shook him violently.

"Never. Do. That. Again." Robin growled shaking him again, he stared around dazed, he was back on the beach and everyone was standing around in a loose circle, all with looks of varying degrees of fear.

He breathed deeply then all but coughed up his lungs, his throat was scratchy as though he'd drunk a million cups of superheated magma and his body felt heavy. Dick was holding onto his shoulders tightly, glaring at him with a mixture of hatred, relief and fear, clearly he'd been scared by something.

"What's going on?" he rasped, hands flying to his throat, speaking was hell, it felt as though little elves with steelwool scrubbing brushes were working inside his oesophogus.

"You drowned, you were dead for six minutes Kid Idiot," Robin explained pulling him close in a hug, Dick had always been a touchy feely person, he was as well, but Robin wasn't.

"I-I don't understand. I remember running out then, something or someone attacking me, everything else is fuzzy," he lied rubbing the back of his head. If they insisted on him having a medical check up, he'd need a way of explaining away the bruises Rudy'd left, plus he needed some way of getting out of why he'd tried to kill himself.

"You were floating for two minutes before I found you. Did you see anyone before you were attacked, anyone at all?" Kaldur questioned seriously, back to business as usual.

"No, I suppose someone could've got me from underneath but who? I mean we haven't had a run in with anyone for the last few weeks," he added patting the top of the brunet's head awkwardly.

"Doesn't matter who, you're alive, **_that's_** what matters, right?" Robin snapped, turning his glare on the others, Wally almost smiled at how protective the little bird was being.

"Calm down Boy Wonderfull," he murmured pulling away from the tight hug to give his little bird a reassuring smile, albeit fake but reassuring all the same.

"Shut up Kid Mouth. Now let's get your soggy butt back to the med bay and run a diagnostics scan on you," he muttered yanking up the groggy the after him.

"Bye guys, sorry for messing up the beach day," Wally called while Rob dragged him up to the cave, he winced slightly when the other boy aggrivated his cuts but said nothing. They crossed the base in silence until they got to the med bay and Robin pushed him onto a cot.

"Okay, sit still and let the computer scan your vitals," the brunet ordered making adjustments for the speedster's high tempertures and metabolic rates, if he didn't, the computer would declare him dead.

He sat perfectly straight, he knew the computer Robin was using, it scanned vitals only, it didn't register minor injuries such as the angry red welts that Rudy'd given him. Still that had been the last time he'd come in for a scan when he'd broken his arm with the whole Injustice League fiasco.

The machine would pick up on broken or bruised bones-fuck!

"Hey I thought I told you to keep still!" Robin complained when he jerked suddenly, he couldn't let the machine register his bruised ribs or he was royally screwed!

"Sorry, you know I don't like hospitals or med bays, or fires," he added in an undertone getting down off the cot and shuddering violently, let him think it was because of the fire.

"Yeah KF, I get it. Well you aren't dying so how bout we head back to the beach?" the brunet suggested shutting down the computer, not meeting the red head's eyes.

_'What'd I tell you? He thinks you're a pathetic piece of dead weight. Can't blame the kid, after all, you don't do much to prove him wrong do you?'_ Angeline asked snidely, arms crossed as she lent against the cot.

"Can't it's already past noon, promised my dad I'd fix up the place for thanks giving, see yuh!" he called rushing out of the med bay faster than computer could register.

_'And I can't wait to see that disaster.'_ Angeline muttered sauntering next to him as he booked it home.

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><p><strong>DEF: Angeline is such a bitch, but damn you gotta love her! She helps with the Wally whump, or at least that's what I've heard it been called.<strong>

_Vita: Oh so you follow the crowd do you? If the crowd jumped off a bridge, don't expect me to save your ass in my little paddle boat again! Review but please no influencing the mentally unstable._


	13. Monster,here beside me,whispering death

**DEF: Wow, I am really close to getting 100 reviews to this story, come on guys, make my year by giving me the pleasure of seeing 100 reviews on this story.**

_Vita: So Young Justice this week was comme se, comme ca. Personally I think M'gann is cool but that's just me, can't wait for the next on though, saw Bats and Robs fighting, damn the angst storm is inevitable!_

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><p>The base was empty when the speedster found himself there again. Thanksgiving had been a fiasco he didn't want to revisit. The Garricks had come over as usual and they'd laughed and chatted as usual and then his phone went off at the table. Rudy'd gotten mad but hadn't said anything until the guests left.<p>

He pressed his forehead to the cool counter as the incident replayed itself behind closed lids.

_'What the hell did I tell you about turning off that damn phone at the table?" Rudy yelled grabbing him up by the shirt and slamming him into the wall._

_"Why do you even have it still? What you think I like people thinking we're a charity case? Give that back to Robin next time you see him or so help me boy..." Rudy growled, brown eyes bright with malice. _

_He nodded listlessly, it didn't matter what he said, what excuse he made up, Rudy never listened to what he had to say. He didn't have to listen to what his son had to say to know it was complete and utter bull. Why waste precious seconds of his life with his annoying dead beat of a son?_

_"It's gone, won't see it again," he promised glancing at everything in the rooms, all the available weapons and all the pain it would amount to later. There was a belt on the upper shelf of the wares cabinet, not a good thing, there were the wares, they could be broken over him, used to cut his skin. Then there was the wares cabinet itself, it could be pushed down on him and he would stay still while it happened, let a four hundred pound wooden cabinet crush his body_

_"It better be Wallace, who the bloody hell called you anyway? I thought you told all those friends of yours not to?" Rudy asked slamming him into the wally again, he grimaced in his head as Angeline appeared perched atop the dining room table._

_'Oh do tell Wallace.' She cooed sending an air kiss over to where he was being held._

_"It was a text," he murmured not daring to look up and meet the glare he could feel eating into his skull._

_"From who Wallace?" Rudy bit off through tightly clenched teeth, breathing heavy as he prepared to hurt Wally in some way._

_"Robin, he's going on a covert mission soon and wants to hang out before he leaves," he admitted, turning his face flush with the wall, he didn't need another broken nose. They tended to bleed a lot when he ran and the blood flying in his eyes wasn't something he needed at 700mph._

_"Hang out? You spend nearly all your time with that runt, all I ever get out of you is Robin this and Robin that! What do you like more than just a friend, is that it?" the brown haired man questioned pulling back his arm as far as it would go and letting it snap forward._

_Now came the worst part of it all, the blow would come so very slowly that when it finally did come, it would hurt more than it should. These the times he hated his super speed with a super passion, he would wait and wait, thinking up worse tortures for himself, and what did that help?_

_A fist the size of his cheek, slammed into his cheekbone with enough force to fracture it, he wasn't sure how he knew it was fractured, he just did, guess he'd just learnt over the years. He was thrown to the ground, kicked hard in the ribs, had a plate broken over his head, gotten cut up and down his arms. _

_Throughout the beating Angeline laughed mercilessly, her laughter high pitched and malicious, devoid of pity, not that he wanted her pity. Rudy used a belt on him again, catching the edge of his mouth with the heavy metal buckle, leaving a cut from the right side of his mouth to his chin. He didn't say anything at all, Rudy didn't like it when he did, said the least he could do was take his punishment like a man._

He sighed, Robin, Roy, Megan, Artemis and Conner were gone on some covert mission for Bats, he knew where they actually were though, playing a part of Hayley's Circus. He pursed his lips, how Robin could hold it together to perform as an acrobat where his parents had been murdered, then again, he heard the little bird wasn't doing so well.

He'd called of course, what was a best pal for after all? But honestly, the part that had hurt was the simple fact Robin didn't trust him enough to let him tag along, what wasn't he good enough to be a part of their act? He was fairly good at acrobatics and he'd been practicing a lot, he should be good enough to work with them, I mean, come on, Megan?

She was horrible at the warm ups, much less for the real deal, she would use telekinesis no doubt and get through it no sweat but no Wally was too much of a liability. He grit his teeth as his hand formed into a fist, holding back the urge to punch something as he so wanted to, but the Bat had this place wired worse than Fort Knox, he didn't dare.

_'Poor, poor Wallace. This is the way it's gonna be from now on, now that Roy's a part of the team. They don't need you anymore, you should just do them all a favor and leave.' _Angeline crooned cupping his face, he could feel her hand there, she was real and only he could see her.

_'Such horrible nightmares you've been having. Don't sleep, they'll only get worse and then what? What if you break down in front of the team, if they get to learn all your dirty little secrets?"_ she hissed dragging her fingers along his cheekbone.

He shuddered violently, he could never tell, never let them know. They would hate him, hate him so much for his stupid weakness.

_'Feeling down are we? Don't worry, I know just what to do to turn that frown upside down.'_ Angeline sang dancing over to the knife block and pulling out a wickedly sharp steak knife, pressing the flat of the blade to her cheek lovingly.

_'You know as well as I do how much you want to, **need** to. No trust, no regret, no promises, forever secrets. All it takes it one small cut!" _she hissed spinning with the knife outstretched and nicking his cheek.

He clapped a hand to said cheek, mouth hanging open in surprise as the flash burn of pain died away, his hand came away with a single red line and he stained at the crimson stain intently. Angeline had danced away to sit atop the counter, knife twirling in her hands, licking the slight blood off the blade.

He sucked in a shuddering breath, sh-she was right, the pain had helped quell the rush of emotion he felt, but it wasn't enough he needed, he needed more. She smiled, a cunning Cheshire cat smile, holding the knife aloft for him, his hand shook badly as he reached for it.

_'Ah ah ah, not here Wallace, did you forget the Bat has this place wired? No go to your room, disable the cameras because you can't let them see how much of a coward you are,'_ Angeline reminded him tossing the knife in the air, end over end, before catching its blade.

* * *

><p>"You were amazing today Robin, the crowd loved you," Megan praised as computer announced their arrival back at base, he smirked, of course he was great when people weren't stealing his acrobatic prowess.<p>

"What, did you grow up in a circus or something?" Roy joked, he laughed along with the rest of them, he'd never told Roy who he was, just that he had the nickname Dick at home but he was sure Roy had guessed by now.

The three of them, Roy, Wally and himself were the original sidekicks before it became a fad, he was first, the Boy Wonder after his parents had died next came Wally and then Roy. Robin, Kid Flash and Speedy, dubbed TLS by the Underworld and Justice League alike 'Those Little Shits'.

"Yeah right, can you imagine me living in a circus? I'd let all the tigers out the cage for fun!" he snickered referring to the time he'd actually done that, Pop Hayley had been so mad. Speaking of Pop, he really shouldn't have assumed Pop had been fooled, the Flying Graysons had been a part of the circus for generations, each more skilled and daring than the last.

"Damn, now that I think about it, you'd be one little shit if you grew up in a circus," Roy mused resetting the coordinates for Star City, he might be a part of the team now but that didn't mean he wanted to stay at the base.

"Takes one to know one Roy boy!" he called as he made his way to his room at the base, he didn't use it much, just enough to have a few changes of clothes, both civie and hero and a few personal items, like his comics and math books.

He plopped down on the bed, the mask he'd worn as Dan Danger in his hands, it was so whimsical, working at the circus had brought back so many memories, some good, others not so good. He shrugged, he'd gotten over the death of his family, accepted it long ago, that didn't mean he didn't miss them though. He missed them all the time but mamica had always said when you died, you didn't cry for the dead because they were a better place. You cried for yourself because you were forced to go on without love for a long time, the time it took to put the broken pieces back together and move on.

He sighed heavily running a hand through his ink black locks, Bruce had wanted him to run some scans on the mountain's security system after an attack on the tower a while back. Someone had gotten advanced enough tech to implant a virus into the Watch Tower main computer and it had glitched the whole system, Bruce'd been working for weeks to fix it and wanted an update on the base incase whoever it was tried again.

He pulled up the base specs on his wrist comp, starting with the cameras, every six months all footage was reviewed thoroughly, backed up onto the BatComputer then deleted completely. They'd done that last month so there wasn't much footage to go through, the cameras in their rooms were a little stalkerish but there were blind spots, if you knew where to look. He scanned Wally's room absentmindedly, guess the red head was in one of the blindspots, it being at the foot of his bed.

He shrugged, Wally was entitled to his privacy and he really didn't care much for what the red head was doing just then, he switched over to the landing bay and gagged when he caught sight of Supey and Megan sucking face. He stuck out his tongue, they did that way too much, couldn't they at least have the decency to use a blindspot?

He shook his head firmly, none of his business, pretend you didn't see anything and move on with your life Boy Wonderful. He smirked, Joker'd called him that at first but then Wally took over, somehow he liked the nickname coming from the red head, the slightly sarcastic way he'd say it.

The truth was, the Boy Wonder in fact, bisexual. No one except Bruce and Alfred knew and he wanted to keep it that way for a while, he thought women were beautiful and as for the male well. Honestly, he'd had a crush on Wally ever since they'd met, sure they were best bros but people fell in love with their friends all the time.

He winced as he recalled his reaction to Wally almost drowning last month, it had been as though a demon were trying to cut his heart from his chest and devour it. Alfred was right, he watched too much Kuroshitsuji, demons like Sebastian didn't exist and no matter how much he looked like Ciel he was not him. Yes he'd lost his parents as nine, yes he'd been taken in to a rich home with a butler who catered to his every want but he was not a cold, vengeance driven person.

He continued the scan on the mountain's system, ignoring the slight niggling feeling at the back of his mind that something was wrong. Magic might exist, he might know a sorceress but that didn't mean he was any different from said Babera, gut instinct was not this feeling so he ignored it. It was simply paranoia.

* * *

><p><strong><strong>_'That's it Wally,__ press it to your arm, higher up, don't want to slice through a vein now do we?'_ Angeline purred in his ear, he shuddered violently at the cold metal cut open his skin, for once he was doing this to himself and for once it felt good.

_'What did I tell you? You need this, this is the coward's way and what else are you Wally but a coward?'_

* * *

><p><strong>DEF: So you might have noticed that my writing towards the end got a bit formal but that's because I've been reading a lot of Kuroshitsuji (watched all the anime) and want to write a story for it.<strong>

_Vita: CielxSebastian is hot! I don't care who calls it pedophilia, all I can say is Twilight. Sebastian is simply one hell of a sex God and Ciel is well, I think you know, plus he wears dresses for those of you who prefer BxG._


	14. Death, Life, Beginnings and Endings

**DEF: I am eternally sorry for the wait to the end of this but my best friend got extremely sick (Vita) and the ambulance had to come take her away from school. She's in New York right now seeking medical attention but I'm really worried about her. If it wouldn't be too much trouble, please say a prayer for her to be well again. I couldn't bear it if I lost her.**

**:::Warning-Intense cursing, cutting triggers and slight yaoi, if any of these disgust you, do not read. If you want to know what the hell happened, PM me. This was a public service announcement, you may now return to your regular programming::::**

**Darke Eco Freak owns the plot. Robin owns the name and Blite is a review whore.**

* * *

><p>The rusty red liquid covered his arm in its filth, defiling the slightly tanned skin that his team mates were never allowed to see for fear of their disgust, Superboy had been programed , Megan had been born that way, Artemis never had a choice, he- he did this to himself.<p>

Megan had been afraid that they would fear or hate or feel disgust because of what she looked like, didn't she realize she was a freaking Martian and that television had portrayed faces much worse than the one she wore? Artemis had hidden her identity because she'd thought they would condemn her for her family, didn't she get it? Who your family was didn't make who you were.

Superboy, another one with messed up genes, being a clone of Superman and Lex Luthor didn't mean you were the big blue boy scout or the big, bald wolf, you were who **_you _**were, no one else. If he'd ever had the choice, he wouldn't have changed his parents or even his superpowers now that he knew how much trouble they caused, no he simply would've changed himself.

He would become someone his teammates could respect, a son his father could be proud of, a protégé that his uncle would appreciate, wouldn't make fun of and treat like the comic relief. Wally West would be completely different, if only he could change himself.

He breathed deeply, sure people said you could change yourself, you and no one else but that was a god forsaken lie, he couldn't change one damn thing about himself, he'd tired so many times! He'd tried being the perfect son, helping around the house so his mother had practically nothing to do, he'd even cooked the breakfast sometimes, yes he could cook, and yes he could cook well. He'd aced all of his tests and hadn't complained about anything, hell he'd even made it home before twelve at night a few times but it wasn't enough, even his best was pathetic.

_'Aw poor baby, careful you don't stain the carpet idiot.' _Angeline snapped as a trickle of blood made its way to the white and black carpet, he scowled and caught it quickly with a piece of tissue paper.

_'Gods! I swear you can't do any damn thing right!' _ the blonde raged, his eyes narrowed as she paced up and down his room, it was January first, about a week and a half since he'd started cutting. He shuddered, it even sounded disgusting in his head, he let out a shaky breath, not a proper day since the Justice League mind control fiasco and finding out Roy wasn't who they thought he was.

Roy was a freakin' clone, how much more fucked up could the world get? One of his best friends was a god damned clone and they'd never even realized, hell he was sure Roy knew who Batman was, did that mean the enemy knew as well? Better fete, did that mean Roy'd betrayed all their secrets to the enemy, including the little known fact that he, unlike Uncle Barry, couldn't be controlled by external forces?

_'Oh please! That's your problem? Not that Robin having a dislocated shoulder or a couple bruised ribs is anything big, or that fact that blond hag has obviously lost her damn mind? Honestly, she let you kiss her, I thought you were gay!' _Angeline laughed nastily. He frowned, he wasn't gay, well sure he'd had an idol crush on Robin for weeks before he'd actually met the kid but that didn't count, everyone had something like that. Your boy crush if you were male and your girl crush if you were female, the one celeb or hero or popular kid that you had a fleeting moment of attraction for.

_'Nice story, tell it again. Not like Robin would give a streaking damn even if you were, which you are, he's ROBIN: BOY FREAKIN' WONDER, adopted son of billionaire Bruce Wayne!' _Angeline reminded him cruelly twisting on his bed, platinum blonde locks flaring out like the tail of a comet.

His lips pulled away from his teeth in a vicious snarl, she froze with her back to him, shaking slightly as she turned to face him again, her lips pulled taunt in a painful looking smile. He lifted the blade calmly and threw it with deadly precision at her, she caught it deftly and tossed it back, he stopped it with his palm, letting the cold steel gauge into his flesh a good half inch.

He plucked the instrument from his hand and stared at the cut curiously, the blood was gushing to the surface like molten magma, not too quickly but still too quickly for it to be healthy. He caught the blood on one of the many tissues he had piled around his feet, the colour wasn't the deep crimson it should be, it was watered down, like scattered rose petals.

Angeline crouched down for a closer look, her translucent gray eyes flickering with a green fire, toxic determination, self-destructive ambition. They both lurked in those gray green orbs that resembled his own , is that what people saw when they looked at him? Was he that transparent?

_'You damaged some tissue, better stitch it up.' _ Angeline sighed gleefully, soft features molding into something different, the nose lengthened, losing its button look and became more angular, straighter, and her cheekbones moved higher up. Her chin became more prominent, a pointed end to her face with the thin cheeks that appeared somewhat taunt, lips not quite full but not thin either. Her eyes flickered from gray to green to crystalline blue, she shook her head and her platinum locks darkened faster than he could say 'Blackbird'.

_'Come on Kid Idiot, don't want people asking questions now do we?' _she snapped, even her voice had changed from the musical lilt to something deeper, almost a rasp, like a jungle cat purring as it stalked its unfortunate prey. She reminded him of Dick, no Robin, even her voice had morphed to resemble his.

* * *

><p>The boy of steel sighed to himself, it had been almost a full day since the whole Justice LeagueSavage thing and various Leaguers were still scrambling with the after math. Still, Superman, no Clark, had finally accepted him as family, sort of, that was good right? Superman's acceptance, the one gift he'd ever wanted from the man of Steel and now that he had it, why didn't he feel any better for it?

There was still a strange emptiness inside of him that refused to go away no matter how much he tried, almost as though he were sick without knowing, he wondered if normal humans ever felt this way. He'd ask Robin or maybe Wally, in fact he could ask him right now, the red head was at base for the New Year since his parents were gone on a cruise or something.

He made his way through the deserted hallways to a familiar canary painted door, the one he'd broken so many weeks ago, he scratched the back of his neck sheepishly, after that whole fiasco, the two hadn't really spoken much. Wally hadn't even been on their mission to Haley's circus, which was pretty strange all things considered, after all, the Speedster was a better acrobat than M'gann hands down.

He knocked on the door twice and waited, half a minute passed, a minute, minute and a half, two, he waited for nearly five minutes with no answer, okay so Wally was sleeping, he'd come back later. He turned on his heel, fully prepared to go find Robin when he caught a strange scent, a too familiar scent that shouldn't be coming from anywhere on Base except for the med bay.

"Hey Wally, you okay in there?" he asked awkwardly knocking again, there was no answer but the scent of blood changed as it was consumed by the odor of fire, of smoke and paper.

"Wally? Two seconds or I knock down this door," he warned as the smell of fire peaked, soon whatever was burning would be totally consumed with nothing left. Still no answer, he kicked the door, breaking the metal hinges, before rushing in to grab a piece of half burnt tissue paper.

He smothered it with his hand, the room was empty no one was here so who'd set the paper on fire? He inspected the burnt paper in his hand, all but one edge was blackened, however, that edge was soaked with blood, whose blood?

"Superboy to Robin, I need you to meet in Kid Flash's room asap," he commed knowing their youngest would be there as fast as humanly possible so long as he heard his best friend needed his help.

"H-hey, wh-what's wrong Supey?" Robin asked attempting nonchalance but failing miserably, even if the clone couldn't hear the labored breathing or the pounding of his heart, he would know from the distressed expression on the younger's face that something was wrong.

"Not entirely sure, can you analyze the blood on this?" he questioned holding out the half charred scrap of paper to the bird.

"Hmm, there should be enough, gimme a few minutes," he replied thoughtfully. Honestly, Conner was used to the Bats having the strangest of things in their utility belts, but really, why did Robin have a blood scanner in his jeans pocket? Better question, how did it even fit in the first place? The things were all but skin tight.

"Where did you get this?" Robin whispered so softly the clone almost missed it, thank God for superhearing.

"In Wally's room, Robin is it his?" he asked quietly.

"Is he still at the base?" Robin asked his voice just as low but darker, more solemn and resigned, oh shit.

"Yeah, med lab I think," he answered after listening closely for a few seconds, "Robin, what's going on?"

"Wally being a damn idiot is what. Well don't just stand there! We have to get to the med bay!" the brunet yelled, already tearing down the hall as fast as humanly possible. So fast in fact, the boy of steel was left in the dust.

* * *

><p><em>'Worthless little shit! Just do it already and save me the trouble!' <em> Angeline screamed stomping up and down the room, Wally tugged viscously at too red locks, he couldn't think, he hurt, he was hungry, Gods just make it stop!

_'What are you waiting for you pathetic bitch? A fucking invitation? Put the fucking blade to your goddamn neck and push, what is so fucking hard about that?' _ Angeline screeched stopping in front of him, spitting on him in disgust before she continued on.

_'I've been helping you for too long for you to screw up now Wallace! But that's just it, isn't it? You're life has just been one fuck up after the next, each more spectacular than the last, right?' _

He covered his ears, pressing his palms as hard as he could against his ears, he wouldn't listen to her, no matter how right she was, no matter!

_'Oh for fuck's sake Wallace! You can't block me out, I'm a part of your sick, twisted little mind and you wouldn't believe the kinds of things I see here, you pathetic, pitiful ass!' _

The scalpel was in his hand as he pressed them over his ears, the blade started to cut into his temple, so deep, oh gods, the pain was sickening.

_'I know that you're gay and your father knows too and you make him _sick_! I know that you were the most ungrateful child your poor mother could've birthed, she hates you, that's why she lets Rudy beat the shit out of you!'_

She was right of course, he removed trembling hands from over his ears, letting over words wash over him, listening to the truth they held. Pressing the sharp steel to his wrist, feel the hot lancing pain that shot up his arm as the blade cut into his pliant flesh and there are screams and laughter echoing in his head. He's not sure if those noises are coming from him or not because they sound so broken and crazy and helpless, that he can't imagine them coming from Kid Flash.

_'Kid Flash? You were never him you bumbling idiot! He just borrowed his name for a while, there are so many other people who would gladly take up his mantle and be so much better at it than you. Don't make me sick!' _

She's right, she always is, and now the blood is coating his wrist and his fingers are twitching in a way that hints at damaged tendons but he's beyond the pain, in a place where it can't touch him. Oh he feels it all right, Gods know he feels it, but it's so much more insignificant compared to what he's done to others, he pain he's caused.

_'That's right. You gave your mother a mental disease, you made your father an alcoholic, you've caused Barry to get hurt more than once, you've hurt your team, and you've hurt Robin. He's the fuck Boy Wonder, it takes a pretty big fuck up to hurt him, guess you're one of the biggest right? Everything and everyone you encounter, you spoil them, you taint them with your wretchedness._

_You drag them down to your level and beat them into submission, until you look good when you complete the most menial, nonsensical of tasks. How does the saying go? Never argue with an idiot, he will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience? Guess it's true after all Wallace.' _ She hissed, long blonde hair whipping in his face.

He doesn't even care anymore when sapphire orbs morph into emerald or black changes to crimson, he's beyond caring, all he wants now is to rest for a very long time. To forget about how much of a screw up he is and relax on waves of nothingness for the rest of forever because that sounds pretty damn appealing about now.

"Me supremus tempus," he whispered, my last time, and the rage built up to a crashing crescendo, he cut through his wrists with a rage akin to that of a tempest, blinding and fast, gone before it had started. His fingers spasmed painfully but he fought the pain and kept his hands steady as he raised the blade to his throat.

"Stop!" The voice is familiar but is so far away and Angeline's laughter is all he can really care, so it's no surprise when he doesn't listen to the familiar voice but when the blade is knocked from his hands he does stop but it's too late much too late.

_'Mortuos ut ignavus, decet non?'_ Angeline cackled, dead as a coward, fitting no?

* * *

><p>"Nanites attached to his hippocampus were feeding the episodes straight into his mind," Robin explained somberly, hidden sapphire orbs never leaving his best friend who had been unconscious for nearly a day now.<p>

"How?" Barry asked running a worried hand through already mussed blond hair, neither had left the red head's side since he'd been stabilized, thank God for superspeed and Cadmus.

They'd found him three quarters dead on the floor, bled out with an expression of utter horror and utter peace, the two extremes were enough to give the boy wonder pause but not enough for Wally to severe his jugular. He'd managed to knock the blade out of Wall's hand with a perfectly aimed batarang, how? He'd never know seeing as his hands were shaking worse than a drug addicts.

Superboy had darted forward then, grabbing up their friend in his arms, ripping his shirt and tying off the cuts before Robin could even process what had gone on. Wally had tried to kill himself. He had consciously, actively tried to off himself, why?

Sure he'd had his suspicions about the so called 'drowning' incident but never concrete proof, nothing that he could bring back to Bruce and the surveillance hadn't revealed anything other than prolonged exposure to the fear toxin. In a way he had almost killed his best friend as well, when he had given Wally the fear toxin antidote, he had jump started the nanites and sent them into overdrive.

It had all been a test by Scarecrow who'd been recruited by the Light to destroy all means of resisting them, Roy had been their double agent, he'd known about Wally's sped up mental processes and he had told them that mind control wouldn't work. Instead, Scarecrow developed a toxin that would stay in the bloodstream for hours trying to integrate itself into Wally's hippocampus to turn him towards self-destructive tendencies.

Apparently it had backfired when Wally became aggressive, lashing out at his teammates, Scarecrow couldn't have that happening though, so he came up with a new plan. The second encounter dosed him with more of the first batch of gas, just to keep things interesting while he worked on phase two.

When the fire at the hospital had occurred, Scarecrow had been the fire fighter Robin had seen throwing the girl back into the burning building at Wally, a skin grafted android as it turned out, and taken off. Whatever gas he had sprayed Wally with, it had injected a minute amount of nanites that would latch themselves onto the hippocampus and create a very realistic scenario that would cause the speedster to hate himself.

"Scarecrow. The clone of Roy told them about Wally's unique mental processes and you know how the Light doesn't like loopholes in their plans. They needed another way, other than mind control that could take care of Wally while not throwing direct suspicion on any of them.

Scarecrow was trying to develop a new version of his toxin mixed with the Block Buster serum to give it the strength necessary to work. Unfortunately, about the time that didn't work was the same time Vandal Savage joined their ranks and he told Scarecrow all about Batman's contingency plan for Wonder Woman and Scarecrow decided to use it for a speedster.

He programmed the nanites to plug directly into the hippocampus and generate self-hate episodes where everything would appear real to Wally but to us would make absolutely no sense. You saw the footage of when he threw the knife, he got up and caught it but when he threw it back at himself, he thought it was someone else, the nanites had created a reason and he had supplied the proof himself.

When I dosed him with the antidote, it sent his system into hyperdrive and there was nothing to prevent the nanites from beating down any mental defenses he might have had. Also, it didn't help that his dad beat the shit out of him every day, I checked a lot of stuff Uncle Barry, Rudy was always too aggressive, I talked with some old neighbors. Did you know when Wally was six, Rudy left him out in the backyard during a thunderstorm? That's why he's afraid of lightening, not because of the experiment?

He's been living with the abuse since he was five and he never had the greatest self-confidence despite what we might believe, and this just pushed him over the edge. He was screaming and laughing when we got to him, he sounded just like Joker, do you know how unnerving and terrifying that was?" Dick whispered, nails sinking the palm of his hand.

His best freaking friend had almost died because of him, had acted like the craziest person in the whole fucking universe because of him and now it was up to him to set thing right.

"What about the nanites, if he gets back up from this, he's going to need a lot of psychiatric help and support but none of that will help if those things are still operational," Barry muttered.

"I used an EMP burst to kill them, they're harmless now," Robin replied monotonously, clearly the bird was having some kind of inner argument with himself and Barry couldn't find it in himself to care at the moment. Honestly, the blond speedster was numb, he didn't feel anything, he wasn't sad, he wasn't angry, he was just numb.

He should've known, he was a forensic scientist damn it, he shouldn't picked up on something being wrong with the nephew he loved more than a son, it didn't matter that they weren't blood relatives. Well, they might well as been now. Wally was the rarest blood type in the world, AB-, the hospitals hadn't had enough on hand but luckily they had a walking container full to the brim with eight pints.

He had given more than five pints of blood, the initial wooziness after the first transfusion had lasted for fifteen minutes and the technicians had declared him fit to give again but they still waited another hour before taking a further two pints. That had been over twenty two hours ago and despite his vital signs being normal for a speedster, Wally had yet to wake which meant the speedster and the bird had yet to relax.

The rest of the team would breeze in every half an hour, always two at a time and always with a dozen cups of coffee, one for Robin, who had steadily declined and ten for Barry who had a pile of empty cups next to him. He had called Iris of course and she had immediately called Bruce, given him an earful was currently working on getting custody on Wally for the next two years.

* * *

><p><em>'Oh Wallace, you're such a fuck up, can't you do anything right?'<em> Angeline asked sadly, her multiple coloured eyes swimming with tears. They were back in their room of darkness, their room that wasn't really a room because rooms were like this.

_'They've gotten rid of me, I have to go now but don't think that it'll help you. Wallace, you were born a failure and a disgrace, do you really want to hurt so many people by continuing to live? I could take you with me when I leave you know. All you have to do is give in.' _She whispered crouching down next to him, her hand caressing his cheek.

_'I promise, no more pain, no more truths that hurt, would you like that Wally? Do you want to hear the lies again? You can if you come with me.' _She promised touching her lips to his forehead.

* * *

><p>"His heart rate's dropping, he's slipping into a coma!"<p>

* * *

><p><em>'Please? There is so much I could show you there, you wouldn't be judged by anyone and Robin would love you there.' <em>He stared listlessly as her form melted into that of Robin's, sapphire orbs sparkling with unshed tears, proud features soft as he watched the red head.

* * *

><p>"No! I refuse to lose him a second time! Wally come on, I know you can hear me!"<p>

* * *

><p>"The truth hurts," he mumbled resting his chin on his drawn up knees.<p>

_'Yesssss, stay with me and I will tell you beautiful lies for the rest of eternity.'_ Not-Robin swore pressing those lips to his cheek, one hand resting above his heart.

* * *

><p>"You need to back away, we're going to try to jump start his heart."<p>

"I don't give a fuck about that! Wally! Please, you can't leave me again, what about your promise?"

* * *

><p><em>'Lies and half-truths are all you'll hear from me my heart of hearts. Give up the illusion of truth and embrace the lie.'<em>

"You don't lie, you've never lied to me, not once."

_'What? What are you talking about?'_

* * *

><p>"Sir please, if we have to call security."<p>

"I dare you, see how many I send home in body bags. Wally, please, show these jackasses over here that you're okay, that you're not slipping into a coma"

* * *

><p>"Robin never lied to me, he always promised to tell me the truth, even if I wouldn't particularly like it. I'm sorry Angeline, I can't go with you."<p>

_'You ungrateful piece of shit! How dare you turn me down!'_

* * *

><p>"H-his heart rate is picking up again!"<p>

"See, I knew you were too much of a stubborn ass to give up that easy West. Now open those damn eyes of yours and prove me right!"

* * *

><p><em>'They can get rid of me but you can't! I'm already a part of your mind, a dangerous part and don't think I'll <em>ever_ leave.'_

"I don't care what you say anymore Angeline, you're dead and dead girl's tell no tales nor write any letters."

* * *

><p>He'd been awake for nearly twelve hours straight between explanations of what had been wrong with him, to apologies for not realizing something was wrong, to death threats should it ever happen again to finally, finally a quiet revelation that his legal guardians were now Mr. and Mrs. Barry Allan.<p>

He stared up at the white ceiling, he'd seen the footage of his mental degradation and even now that he could think straight, it was still unbelievable. Everything had seemed so real, he had felt all those negative emotions and the sad part was that all of them were caused by the toxin or the nanites, the emotions were already there, they just needed a jumpstart to get going. That scared him.

He had wanted to kill Robin and Roy once, did that mean that he just might? Or what about the cutting and the insomnia which he'd yet to break, what if they persisted, because honestly, he found nothing else helped.

"Dude, go to sleep already!" Robin hissed from his side, the little bird had insisted on spending the night with him on the hospital cot so the doctors had pushed three together to accommodate them.

"How'd you know I was awake?" he questioned turning to face his best and truest friend.

"Because I just do, same way I know you'll work through this and I'll be there with you, promise," the brunet added pressing a chaste kiss to the red head's lips before snuggling deeper into the covers.

He touched his lips lightly, and a small, sad smile grew, maybe things would work out, or maybe he'd just go back to hiding everything away. The smile slipped entirely, and he bit his palm to keep the sobs silent, he didn't even care when a slim pair of arms slipped around his waist and his head pressed to the juncture between a certain brunet's neck and shoulder.

Too many maybes and too many fears of a speedster.

* * *

><p><strong>DEF: This is it, the end of 1001 Fears of a Speedster, I might be making a sequel to it where he gets the help or not, it really depends on what my reviewers want. So review and don't ever forget Vita.<strong>

**__**_Robin: So in this fic, I tried to play up on Wally's knowledge of highschool latin, it's stated on the wiki but not confirmed as canon as yet. I wanted Angeline to go all psycho and then become bipolar and try for the sweet approach. The whole truth and lies thing comes from me watching Avengers over the weekend (t'was amazing, followed the characters and filled with action and angst) and fell in love with Loki. I actually felt sad for him, it was kinda like the stuff I felt for Draco Malfoy in parts six and seven. _

_-Spoilers ahead, you were warned-_

_He never really had choice did he? Follow me or I kill you and your family. A bit the same with Loki, in Marvel at least, people always considered him lesser than his brother, why? Because he was adopted? I don't get that, also, why didn't Odin ever tell the kid that he was Laufeyson instead of Odinson? For Avengers, I felt sorry for him because 1. He would be severely punished if he didn't deliver the tessaract and 2. When Hulk flung him around like a rag doll, imagine the blow to his ego. But enough of my ranting. _

_-Spoiler over-_

_As I said, this is the last chapter and I tried to sew up the gaping plot holes, finished this in less than an hour for your information. I had lots of fun writing this and I know Vita did too, I hope she'll come back before I decide on the sequel or not. _

_All my Love_

_Darke Eco Freak_


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